Lipgloss and Baseball: A Minnesota Twins Blog

[CONTEST] Balk About It's Dirty Little Secrets Post

2011-06-04T21:21:00.002-05:00

Go over to my site (that is written with Those Girls @baseballhappy) Balk About It and enter our Dirty Little Secrets contest! There's a prize pack and shenanigans!

http://aeryssports.com/balk-about-it/dirty-little-secrets-contest/

Catching up on Balk About It

2011-03-31T09:56:00.002-05:00

Have you gone over to Sarah (from Those Girls) and my new site: Balk About It? It's on the Aerys Sports network and pretty awesome...if I do say so.

Here's a round-up of some of our most recent posts:

Do you know your ballpark's music director? I know mine!

I had a chance to sit down with Target Field's new music director. Read it for some scoop on walk-up music for Thome and Nathan.

Love at the Ballpark: First Dates

This article explains why sometimes having a first date at a baseball game isn't a great idea.

Balking About Charities on Aerys Sports

So many great sites on Aerys Sports have written about charities!

Let's Balk About Advice: Baseball Edition

Questions are coming in and we're trying to answer them.

Coming Soon...

2011-01-31T15:16:00.004-06:00

(cue crescendo of music)

G9 Sports

I am excited to be joining forces with my Wonder Twin Sarah (of Those Girls / @baseballhappy) to launch a new blog endeavor...

Wait for it...

It's going to be good...

Presenting...

It's all the things we do best blended into one Super Force Blog!

Tomorrow is launch day so check it out. Go on. I dare you!

Also, go ahead and follow us on twitter: @balkaboutit

We promise, we won't be too nice and fluffy.

Pittsburgh or Bust, Part III: PirateFest

2011-01-11T08:22:00.003-06:00

In 17 days, Sarah (@baseballhappy) and I will be venturing to the great city of Pittsburgh (yeah, I know…not a lot of people preface it with Great). It’s one of our favorite cities for a few reason: Pirates, Garrett Jones, food, PNC Park. SO ANYWAYS, we’re heading out there for PirateFest at the end of the month. They’re will be Garret Jones-ing, Primanti Brothers sandwich eating, eyerolling, and other shenanigans to fill our weekend. If by some act of weirdness you are reading this and you are A) a Pirates fan and/or B) going to PirateFest, hit us up! We’re really nice…usually…well, we try to be.

On that note I leave you with a few Pirates related photos:

Photo A Day: Brrr...

2010-12-08T22:50:00.002-06:00

Well, winter is here to stay. As if the snow covering Target Field wasn't enough of an indication let's just go with the fact my lipgloss freezes on my morning trek to the bus stop.

(Me at Target Field on May 5, 2010)

Is it time for Spring Training yet? I could use a little light at the end of the shoveled tunnel!

PS: All this trade and signing talk is getting me excited for some off season moves! Thomse? JJ? A pitcher? Anything? Bueller?

Photo a Day: This is on my Christmas card Edition (plus launching Christmas Song a Day)

2010-12-07T21:12:00.004-06:00

This photo is going on my christmas cards this year. I have a theme...and that theme is baseball, Minnesota Twins & Target Field. It was either that or vodka.

This is me. In centerfield at Target Field. Yep, hanging out at the wall where homeruns are ruined or crowds sigh in bummness. Where TC the Bear comes down. Yep, there I am on Target Field.

Christmas Music of the Day - ah, my teen years!
Hanson's Snowed In is still one of my favorite christmas albums!

Hanson - Rocking Around the Christmas Tree

Photo a Day (2-for-1): Target Field in the snow!

2010-12-05T15:40:00.005-06:00

Thank you to @MinnesotaTwins for inviting me along on the Social Media Tour they had on Friday, December 3. Over the next few days I will post a few photos from what I believe is my ultimate baseball fangirling moment.

So, let's start at the very beginning (a very good place to start) of our tour... The Budweiser Roof deck.

I have yet to find a spot in this ballpark that isn't an amazing photo op!

A Photo A Day keeps the Off Season Boredom away

2010-12-02T19:59:00.003-06:00

'Tis the season of cold weather and no baseball. So, in honor of not having anything to snark about or drinking at Target Field stories or fangirling of the new stadium...I will give you Photo A Day.

Spit ‘em, polish, look how they shine/Glitter, glisten, gloss, floss/I catch a beat runnin like Randy Moss

2010-10-08T11:05:00.003-05:00

Suckage. To the maximus.
Now our team is heading to New York with a low self-esteem. After reading through my Twitter feed yesterday and seeing the Twins fans reactions it sealed the deal. I won’t be going to the Tweet-up event on Saturday. I don’t need to be in a bar surrounded by naysayers and the bitching in person. It’s hard enough dealing with the tweets. No thanks. I can go to Matt’s Bar and have a Jucy Lucy and Honeyweiss and enjoy the atmosphere better there.

Go ahead, try and convince me otherwise but after my previous experiences I have decided to spend my time with positive (albeit snarky) people.

Hi. My name is Jen and I am a list maker.

Hi Jen!

Pros
* Watching extra baseball at Target Field (my Disney Land)
* Drinking enough beer to get a collection of souvenir playoff cups
* Having amazing seats for last night’s game
* Hanging with approximately 84,000 of my closest friends the last two nights
* Looking around the sold out ballpark and seeing camera flashes against the night sky
* Helmet Sundaes
* The pantomime street performer painted silver shushing the bible thumper on a milk crate
* Hanging with @baseballhappy and amusing ourselves

Cons
*Looking like the Detroit Tigers circa 2003 on National television
* Letting this year's Yankees beat us. And yes, I said “letting” and yes I said “this year’s” team.
* Dealing with Yankee fans here in Minnesota.
* Listening to the anti-Twins fans around town. An Anti-Twins Fan is someone local who doesn’t care about baseball therefore doesn’t like the Twins. These people are the first to say “I Told You So.”
* Sarah (@baseballhappy) said it best in her post this morning, “…but as a Twins fan, I was a lot more offended by the headline on the Twins twitter feed ready “Current Trend a Testament to Yankees” than I was by the “EZ Pass” NY Daily News Headline.”
* Losing
* Losing
* Not enough sprinkles on my helmet sundae
* Missing Modern Family and The Office

Non-Baseball Pros and Cons
Pros
* I can add the “And here is where Randy Moss ran over the traffic cop and got busted for pot” stop on my office tour.
* It’s Friday
* Only 3 days until Monday Night Happy Hour
* The weather is perfect in Minneapolis
* I heart David Cook

Cons
* Michelle Bachmann still exists in Minnesota Government
* I am hungry
* My cat’s breath smells like cat food (Simpson’s reference)

Music of the Day – Randy Moss Edition
Outkast – Whole World

There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do/I bless the rains down in Africa

2010-10-07T10:32:00.001-05:00

Game 1 of the ALDS playoffs Twins vs Yankees
Yeah, we lost. Yeah, it sucked. But…it was a fun game, a great night, awesome crowd, tasty Grainbelt Premium, kickass company (thanks @baseballhappy), and our usually funny shenanigans. Oh, and I think it’s official that our at-bat/walk-up music would be Toto’s Africa (hence the music of the day).

Pissing on my Parade - A brief vent about Twins fans/tweeters
Nothing like coming home from an intense loss and looking through a pile of shit on my twitter feed. I am a little embarrassed about the whining and bitching some twins fans are displaying right now.

To offset what I had been hearing:
The energy at Target Field was amazing! People where chatty and high-fiving and jeering and cheering! Our sections (306 and the surrounding ones) didn’t stand the whole game but we all jumped to our feet for strikeouts, hits, great catches, and well…practically everything. For the record we weren’t lack luster. It wasn’t dull. We weren’t pouty. We were fired up! Damn it. I understand that some people (or maybe one person with many media outlets) were asked to sit down/leave. I totally think that is ridiculous…to be asked to sit down during a ball game is like being told to sit down during a U2 concert…or Tom Petty…or Bruce Springsteen…or Lady Gaga…or David Cook. Alas, I don’t want that to be the bitchy thing that gets leaked around everywhere.

That being said…that game was an amazing experience! I always have a great time with @baseballhappy is in attendance. We sing Toto, we boo Swisher, we talk about how much we love the Pittsburgh Pirates, and we amuse ourselves.

Music of the Day – Toto Africa

Yesterday is history, tomorrow may not come/I’m gonna run to the horizon/We are strong/We are young.

2010-10-05T10:14:00.003-05:00

(1500ESPN's ad is awesome!)

I say Brrr, it’s cold in here. There must be some Yankees in the atmosphere
Okay, not very original but that Bring It On cheer has been stuck in my head since Sunday when @baseballhappy and I were chanting it. (We also discussed that the original Bring It On is the best but some of the other ones aren’t that bad.)

Anyways…I am as prepared, physically, as I can be for the chilly night game tomorrow. I have a hooded sweatshirt, red fleece blanket, half of a crocheted blue and red scarf (I will finish the other half tonight), fingerless gloves, and faux-uggs (or Fuggs). Overkill? Nope, I don’t think so. My only regret is not getting the blue fleece blanket. My vanity usually steers me away from all things red (due to my red hair and the fear I will end up looking like Tickle Me Elmo or something) but I did not want anyone to confuse my blue blanket to be Yankee Blue. So…red it is.

ESPN’s E:60 Visits Minnesota Twins on Eve of MLB Playoffs

ESPN's Emmy award-winning primetime newsmagazine E:60 will visit the Minnesota Twins on the eve of Major League Baseball’s playoffs in the episode airing Tuesday, Oct. 5, at 7 p.m. ET.

E:60 spoke with manager Ron Gardenhire and several Twins players including Michael Cuddyer and Nick Punto. The American League Central champions open the playoffs Wednesday against the New York Yankees.

Launched in October 2007, ESPN’s E:60 combines investigative reporting, in-depth profiles of intriguing sports personalities and features on emerging star athletes. These stories are presented in a fresh and innovative format that incorporates producer/correspondent meetings.

Don’t be that douchebag…
Don’t be that douchebag that wears a business dress shirt with pleated khakis drinking rum and cokes whilst talking about how much you know about baseball. I am pretty sure that the eye you’re using to calling balls and strikes from section 307 (first base side) isn’t as accurate as the umpire. Also, shouting “Come on, Blue!” after every strikeout makes my eye twitch.

Music of the Day – FSN North watchers will recognize this song
Ryan Star’s song Right Now has been used for the game recap towards the end of every Twins game aired on FSN North. I always get so excited about it because I love that guy. He may be the nicest rockstar in the business and puts on a hell of a live show. Check out his new album 11:59 (What’s Your 11:59?) now out on iTunes and stores (like Target and Best Buy).

Ryan Star – Right Now

I show no scars from where I’ve been / Just two jaded eyes, I guess you win

2010-10-04T12:31:00.004-05:00

FREE WALLY

Sarah (@baseballhappy) and I rocked these tshirts yesterday!

Statistically they are speaking the truth, blah blah blah. However, hometown pride makes me bristle at this kind of headline/article. I am not sure who is worse right now…Yankees bloggers/tweeters or Twins bloggers/tweeters.

First Last Game (copyright @baseballhappy)
Yesterday Sarah (Those Girls & @baseballhappy) and I went to the first last game of the season. (Also known as the last regular season game.) The weather was beautiful UNLESS you were in the shade…then it was DAMNED cold. Now I need to prep for the chilly night game on Wednesday.

Shopping list: Mittens, Twins Snuggie, Tiny bottles of Baileys Irish Cream, Twins crocheted scarf (in process), and a great sense of humor.

Don’t be that douchebag…
I am starting a new reoccurring topic here on Lipgloss & Baseball. This where I can call out those people…you know, THOSE ones.

So, to the guy who was throwing stuff on the field yesterday (near McCoy):
Don’t be that douchebag that ruins it for a stadium full of people who are rejoicing the fact they get to start keeping their bottle caps again!

Music of the Day
The band Midwest Kings (MWK) is one of my favorites. I found them through a very hap-hazard way but am now a fan. I even roadtripped down to Tulsa, Oklahoma to catch one of their first shows on stage after a couple-year pause.

Call to Arms – MWK

Keep your words, they’re all you got / Please be careful what you say

2010-10-01T13:05:00.003-05:00

This post includes: me bitching about whiny fans/bloggesr/tweeters, photo-shopped sign I made on my iPod whilst riding the Ghetto #5 bus, preparation for the last regular season game at Target Field, and a song that is always stuck in my head (and I don’t mind).

This weekend was going to be my bittersweet goodbye to my new love, Target Field. BUT thanks to the Minnesota Twins clinching the playoffs I will be back for at least two more (and hopefully a dozen more) games! I think I’d like to spend all of October at Target Field…watching baseball, wearing my hoodie, drinking coffee (with Bailey’s). Yep. I think I would. However, to keep the tradition alive, I will be there on Sunday to say goodbye to the regular season along with Sarah (of Those Girls & @baseballhappy).

Scene
Me walking to Target Field in my Twins hooded sweatshirt with homer hankie sticking out of my back pocket a la Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the USA video. Everything is in slow motion and cue voice over:

Wow. What happened to Minnesota-nice? What about Minnesota Passive-Aggressive? Sure, I was lucky enough to score tickets to Games 1, 2, and 3 of the first round of playoffs and a set for the second round. Alas, my happy buzz was killed by Twitter and Twins Fans. Not all Twins fans…just the ones who I usually avoid.

* Yes, the tickets are expensive.
* Yes, the lottery system is a bitch. Trust me. I got shut out of Home Opener tickets.
* No, not only ticket scalpers and band wagon fans got the tickets. I am neither of those.
* No, I didn’t cheat the system. I used the standard process that everyone else used.
* Yes, I am going to the games.

So…stop pissing on my parade!

/end scene

Mike Kelly & Andy Skib – Taking the Blame
Mike Kelly’s new CD “Wake the Dead” has been on heavy rotation on my iPod. I recommend it. Fully!

Do you remember, the 21st night of September? / Love was changing the mind of pretenders

2010-09-21T14:35:00.002-05:00

Post-Season, Schmost-Season
This morning at 8:45 a.m. I was glued to my computer, refreshing the super secret link that was sent to me by the Minnesota Twins. I was going to buy pre-sale, post season tickets come high or hell water! And I did.

I scored two seats to the first home game of the first round of playoffs (and a pair for the third home game if needed). So now it all rests in the hands of our Minnesota Twins to get us

Front Page News
Target Field and Jim Thome will be gracing the cover of the next issue of Sports Illustrated (due on newsstands tomorrow

Same old, same old
So…playoffs are upon us. I am sure some bloggers/tweeters are planning stuff but since they are a very exclusive club I thought I would toss out the Poor-Mans version of meet-ups. I was thinking that it would be fun to hang out outside of the stadium…to witness the games from the plaza and the gates. Also…the new Kierans is a blast to watch sporting events at if the sporting event happens to be the main ticket in town. The new Hubert’s has tons of Televisions and spots too…that’s where @baseballhappy/Those Girls and I watched the big UFC fight.

Now all that’s left to do is to find a new Twins shirt to purchase. Like…a division title one :)

Music from my title
Seems only fitting to be using Earth, Wind & Fire’s September

In a daydream/I couldn’t live like this/I wouldn’t stop until I found something beautiful

2010-08-17T16:01:00.002-05:00

Quick Hits
• I did not boo Gardy when he pulled Slowey from the game on Sunday. I boo’ed Rausch for sucking.
• This may sound shocking but I really, really like the chicken fingers with fries at Target Field.
• I sometimes get legitimately upset due to the Text Your Vote for what song you want to play in the fifth inning. Beiber, Miley Cyrus, Eminem (new Em not old Em), and other various musicians that I do not approve of. I will always boo the crowd at Target Field when they pick something lame (aka something I don’t approve of). In my mind Dexie’s Midnight Runners “Come On Eileen” gets picked over Eminem’s “Not Afraid” (and I actually like that song).
• I know that Premium Grainbelt is a hipster beer but…it is starting to be my Go-To beer at Target Field. Weird, I know.
• The cupholders in section 307 tilt and it really pisses me off. It also pisses me off that the @MinnesotaTwins tweeter said they did not tilt.
• The gelato near the plaza is excellent. May I recommend the chocolate? ‘Cause I do.
• I get teary eye before the start of every single game I attend. Having a veteran raise the flag, the national anthem being sung and the Rockets’ Red Glare and Bombs Bursting In Air fireworks all add up to me being a total chick.

Cute Factor
If you allow me a moment to be a proud auntie…

Lucy starts kindergarten on September 1st! I can’t believe the little monster is growing up!

Music of the Day
This band is coming back to Minneapolis in November and playing a show at First Ave! I am gonna be there, are you?

Needetobreathe – Something Beautiful

All we ever have is Right Now / And all we’ll ever need is here, Right Now

2010-08-09T16:13:00.000-05:00

Let’s talk about Baseball Etiquette
So…I have waited in lines before for buying concert tickets, to get into concerts & for meeting musicians after concerts. (And yes, I’ve done all those at a David Cook concert too…and for U2 and for Willie Nelson. So don’t judge!) Anyways, there’s certain etiquette amongst the masses. You don’t invite your 10 friends to skip ahead to stand with you, you don’t push, you don’t start fights that you can’t win, you don’t eat stinky food, you share your water. Right? It’s like a warzone when you’re out there.

Now, how does this tie in with baseball? Well, I want to talk about etiquette amongst baseball…game attendees, bloggers, tweeters, ect. This will be a multi-part blog due to the length and to my rambling.

When at a baseball game
I get it. You’re at the game! AWESOME! Now let’s go over how you can make your visit enjoyable for me. Yes, I wrote that correctly. Here’s how you can not bug ME! And in turn…everyone else around you.

1. Projectile Story Tellilng
This is about those people who want those sitting around them to accidently eavesdrop on their conversations so that we can all hear about how awesome they are. You know those people. Some of you may be those people. There are moments where I think the drunken frat boy who keeps trying to start the wave while juggling his two MGDs is more welcome than Please Listen To My Story.

“So I was drinking on the roof of Seven Sushi Saturday night…well, actually it was Sunday morning because it was like 2 a.m… OMG! We got SO TRASHED!”

That’s great, Drunky. I get it. You’re SUPER cool and can get into really hot clubs like Seven. Oh wait…this is Minnesota. Not New York. There are very few places you CAN’T get into. You did not achieve greatness. You flashed some bills/boobs/grills and got in. I don’t need to know how you puked in a garbage can on 7th & Hennepin (Trust me…I’ve seen it. That’s why I don’t use the trash cans on the west side of Nicollet Mall.) Why don’t you save that story for your facebook status or something that doesn’t involve me rolling my eyes into the back of my head. You’re here for baseball…or at least you should be.

“I find that the hot button issues for this election are really overrated due to more pressing concerns in the community.”

Wow. You are sooooooooooo deep! You used a whole bunch of big words in one sentence! You are saving the world! We are really lucky you took time out of your big campaigning schedule to come to a baseball game. Here’s the thing…much like first dates, we don’t talk about politics or religion at baseball games. Just enjoy the game and think the thoughts inside your head.

“Hey! Hey! That’s the dude on the cover of XBOX MLB! Cool! You know that my batting average is like .425. I am leading my league.”

Just because you are the MVP on your video game version of baseball that doesn’t mean you actually know a lot about baseball. Let’s use the age-old theory about if you play a flight simulator game does that mean you qualify to fly an actual airplane? Nope.

“Sweetie. Do you want a drink? A drink? Can you say drink? Here you go. Now what do you say? No, child-that’s-toddler-age, we do not kick the seat in front of us. No no no no. We do not wipe our hands on our pants. Let mommy get you a moist towelette. Look Sweet Little Precious Child of Mine, there’s a man with a bat. He’s batting. See? Batting!”

Much like there is a family section where you can’t drink and can expect lots of wholesome family time (which I support the idea of) I think there should be an “I am just here to watch the baseball game and have a few drinks” section. I’d buy season tickets to that. You’d have to answer a few quick questions about the game, the stadium, the team and then you’re in. Wally the Beer guy is the vendor, TC the Bear comes and high-fives us all, we are guaranteed the give-aways, snuggies are welcomed.

2. Inappropriate Clothing
This is not where I talk about how wearing a tube top or miniskirts is inappropriate. Heck, I may roll my eyes or mock but it’s a personal choice. Chicks who wear a Twins jersey with a miniskirt get bonus points! Here is what I am talking about:
· Yankees clothing when we aren’t playing the Yankees.
· Those super high heel/platform shoes that make me fear for your safety as you toddle up and down the steep steps. They can’t be comfortable!
· Oversized purses that take my armrest away. Sure, this year’s fringed boho chic purse is super cute but is it really functional at a game? You fear putting it on the ground because it will get spilled on so instead it sits perched smooshed between your body and the armrest.
· Skorts. Just because.
· Ed Hardy t-shirts. Again…just because.

3. Mass mentality
Will you marry me? is not for everyone
Getting proposed to in front of 40,000 + people is exciting. Unless you are the unfortunate person seated next to them. It’s awkward and distracting. But…that’s neither here nor there. I have yet to be to a game at the new Target Field and NOT see a proposal on the 4th largest screen in MLB. It kind of looses it’s glamour and excitement when everybody is doing it. Now is the time to thinking of something more original. Let’s say…”Marry Me” written in ketchup on a hotdog served by one of the seat vendors. Or how about have TC deliver a giant cookie with “Marry Me” written in frosting? I mean, anything with food seems to be “ballparky”.

The Wave is similar to a thousand bee stings
I know, I know. It is really hip to hate the wave right now but somehow a ballpark full of people can get it going. Thankfully I have always been a hater. So, why do we do the wave? To entertain ourselves during the slow parts? To inspire the players? To annoy me? Get a hobby. Not gonna help. And it does. In conclusion, don’t do it.

4. Wanderers Punch
There is so much foot traffic in and around the new stadium. I have compiled a simple list of How To Walk:

· Don’t stop in the middle. Just pull off to the side…much like you do in car traffic.
· Go with the flow. It’s not trout season, you don’t need to swim against the current.
· Do not walk in a width of more than two people. That’s just rude and annoying. Unless you’re shooting an opening sequence to some badass movie y’all don’t need to be front and center.
· If you have a stroller and you hit me in the back of the ankle (a la my Achilles heel) more than once please be prepared for me to turn around and glare. If you do not look properly ashamed please be prepared for me to snarl. If you do not look properly afraid please be prepared for my big hoop earrings to come off.
· I know it is super Minnesotan to see a line and automatically stand in it…even if you don’t know what it for. We automatically assume it is either where we are supposed to be or it’s a line for an awesome giveway. BUT sometimes it’s okay to break free from the pack and walk around the line.

Well, I think that’s enough of a list for this first post of Jen’s Half-Ass Rules of Baseball Etiquette. Do you have anything to add? Anything you disagree with?

Music Video of the Day
Let me introduce you to someone. His name is Ryan Star and he’s an awesome musician. I’ve seen him in concert a couple times and can verify that he puts on a kickass rock show AND is a nice dude (tall drink o’water too, ladies). His song “Right Now” is used at the end of the FSNorth televised games…for the recap. So there is a baseball connection (even if he’s a Yankees fan).

The song I am posting here is the new single and the music video is on the VH1 Top 20 countdown show on weekend mornings. It is a great song with a cool message and the video is really cool…about people fighting recession and being laid off. Take three minutes and watch.

Oh, he also has a brand new album that was just released last Tuesday. You can pick up a copy on iTunes or at Best Buy or Target.

Ryan Star - Breathe

See the girls with the curls in their hair/The buttons and the pins and the loud fanfares

2010-07-29T16:43:00.003-05:00

Look at this cute picture of received of Baby G!

His mama captioned it with: “Doesn’t G look like he is on the pitcher’s mound getting ready to throw a strike while keeping an eye on first base?”

He sure does! Personally I hope the onesie baseball uniforms make a big comeback :P

Tonight, Tonight…
Well, let’s first address the issue of me now having New Kids on the Block’s song “Tonight” stuck in my head. Damn it!

Now…let’s get onto the point of this heading! Tonight I will be at Rock Bottom Brewery to Tap a Keg with Nick Punto (now would be a good time to a.) snort, b.) mumble “that’s what she said”, or c.) roll your eyes). Come on down at 6:00 p.m. and get a free pint of whatever they’re tapping and meet Nick Punto!

Not baseball related but no less important
Further proof that my niece Lucy (age 5) is the coolest person I know

Music of the Day – Because it’s the title of this blog Edition
New kids on the Block – Tonight

As Americana as…well, Baseball

2010-07-13T10:16:00.001-05:00

As promised, here are some cool photos I took from the games I went to over the 4th of July weekend. There are pictures of parachutes, beer, silly people, TC the Bear wearing a Pavano mustache, ect…

Parachuters!

Garrett Jones Action Figure visits Target Field

Random photos from the weekend

Rockets red glare!

My favorite spot in Target Field!

me & @baseballhappy

The brought out the big flag!

me & Ryan

Cool!

TC Pavano 'Stache & Ryan

Ry is Premium, yo!

Me & Ryan

Public Service Announcement for the Day:

Oh, and for the record…it isn’t in good taste to ask people to blog/promote your event with the offer of something and then not actually delivering.

Hey Minnesotans, watch the All-Star game from the comfort of Target Field!

2010-07-06T14:10:00.004-05:00

If you would all allow me a moment to promote a really, really awesome event here in Minneapolis. Wait…don’t stop reading now! Have I led you wrong yet? Okay, sure…sometimes I blather on about how much I love David Cook and reality television shows but this is different. I swear!

All-Star Event at Target Field!
Tuesday, July 13 at Target Field

Next Tuesday, Pillsbury United Communities is hosting an awesome event at Target Field – a private screening of the All-Star Game. This event is a fundraiser for Pillsbury United Communities, a nonprofit organization with multiple locations in Minneapolis' inner city neighborhoods – including four neighborhood centers and a professional live theatre. PUC serves more than 35,000 people each year – nearly 10% of Minneapolis!

What better way to watch the All-Star game than AT the home of two (maybe three) of our Minnesota Twins All-Stars! If you purchase your tickets to this event by the end of Wednesday (tomorrow) you can use a Groupon! (Groupon is an online form of a coupon…no cutting needed). The Groupon offers $40 tickets…pretty damn discounted so you can’t go wrong with that deal!

Groupon, yo!

For additional information and details on this event please visit their site: Home Field Advantage Event

I live right by the Pillsbury House Theater and I know what a great organization and opportunity it gives to the community. Food, baseball, cheering, Target Field, All-Stars? You can’t miss out on this!

***I am in the process of editing my photos from my baseball-filled weekend and I will post them tomorrow. Watch this space!

<--- This is a teaser.

Pack my bags, walking in rain/Hear them voices inside my head/Drinking that booze & taking down names

2010-06-21T15:58:00.004-05:00

Calling all Twins bloggers & tweeters!
MetsGrrl will be in Minneapolis this upcoming weekend! Besides going on a baseball tour and eating a Jucy Lucy at Matt’s Bar she wants to gather and watch the Twins and Mets matchup on TV. So, come join us! This would be a perfect time to break out your old Santana Twins shirts and join us at Kieran’s Irish Pub (the new location in Block E, across from the Target Center). We’ll be meeting around noon on Sunday, June 27.

Metsgrrl Meet-up
Kieran’s Irish Pub
600 Hennepin Ave
http://www.kierans.com/

Happy hour from 11:00 a.m. – 6:00 p.m., 7 days a week. $4 pints, house wines, rail drinks

Let me know if you are interested in joining and then I can pass along a headcount to Kieran’s. Just a warning…this isn’t one of those fancy meet-ups. There will be no shenanigans or hoopla. Just us and baseball and beer.

Also, rumor has it that Garrett Jones Action Figure will be debuting at the bar on this momentous occasion.

Baseball, mall, hall, call, asparagus, Jason castro, shawl, tall…
My little five-year old niece, Lucy, is learning all about rhyming. She rhymes everything and well, the heading above is an example of her rhyming style. I don’t think she’s destined to be the next Eminem or anything but at least she’s trying.

So baseball…
I am still very much in love with Target Field. I’ve been to a handful (almost two handfuls – insert inappropriate comment here) of games and each one makes my love of the ballpark grow. Yeah, it’s sappy but that’s how I feel. Hey, I am a girl that was raised in the Metrodome. Raised seeing a dingy grey domed roof, bright green fake grass, cheap plastic blue seats and closed walkways. Anyways, I skipped out of work early last Thursday and headed to Target field to watch the Twins. The weather was perfect…a hot summer day. I was thankful that my seats were in the shade…a nice breeze, cold beer & tasty tacos.

There was yet another proposal on the jumbotron.

This dude rides the Ghetto#5 bus. Pirate Pride!

Music Video of the Day

In honor of Vinnie (THANK YOU) scoring me a ticket to Stone Temple Pilots concert that is coming through town here in August…I give you a song from Scott Weiland’s solo album.

Scott Weiland – Paralysis

Blame it on the rain, blame it on the stars, whatever you do don’t put the blame on you

2010-06-09T13:06:00.002-05:00

The clouds parted and the sun sparkled over downtown Minneapolis (I am sure some angels were singing and shit but I think they are sick of me requesting Free Bird). For some strange reason I had Milli Vanilli’s greatest hit, Blame It On The Rain, stuck in my head.

I was excited to go to the game with Jess (of the Tulsa Roadtrip for MWK Concert crew) and introduce her to Target Field. I also got to introduce her some Hibbinites (those who hail from Hibbing, MN)…Vinnie and his guys are 100% Hibbing and 200% hilarious.

The game was great, the company was awesome (we fangirled MWK, Ryan Star & David Cook), the food was good (taco Tuesday), and we won…pretty much a quadruple threat.

CandyLand in downtown Minneapolis offers a Game Day special. For $10 you can get a bag of Chicago Mix, a bag of plain popcorn, a bag of either sunflower seeds or peanuts, and a bag of candy. It is all approved to go into the ballpark so you would be set with sweet treats! I am doing this on my next game!

If you are looking for Father's Day Presents get yourself to Walmart (words I don't utter often). They have a great selection of Father's Day/Twins stuff. I really, really want this tshirt.

Photos from the game last night:
Twins (Slowey) vs. Kansas City Royals (Greinke) - June 8, 2010

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galatica. or Pittsburgh. Food. Yankees

2010-05-27T16:00:00.002-05:00

Before I give you my blurb and photos from my trip to Pittsburgh I wanted to throw out the bit o’info that I am going to the Twins game tonight. I am NOT a fan of going to games when the Yankees are in town, mostly because the amount of Minnesota Yankee fans that pop out of the far reaches of our fair state. Also, I hate the Yankees. (Note: I do not hate Yankee fans…well, most of them.) So, I am putting on my Twins shirt and my sunblock and heading to Target Field to experience my first WARM game at our fantastic ballpark. Now…what to eat? What to drink? What insults to mutter under my breath at the family of four wearing Jeter jerseys?

I Heart Pittsburgh
I survived a kickass trip to Pittsburgh, the City of Food (well, that’s my nickname for it.) I was like my own travel show where I ate at non-chain restaurants, tried local faves, drank in the hotel bar while telling crazy stories drunkenly. Okay…so that last part would be an exclusive for MY travel show. I experience a giant rain delay on my only Pittsburgh Pirates game and I snagged a Garrett Jones action figure for @baseballhappy. I feel like I succeed in having the mid-range level of fun! Especially considering I got to sit next to Davey Jones (yes, THE Davey Jones from the Monkees) at the hotel bar. I also stood next to Hermans Hermits at the valet stand.

PNC Park

A famous Primanti Bros Sammie.

I hopped across the border to West Virginia to have lunch with Darcie!

A pretty and rainy day view from my hotel window.

I had coffee with dinos!

Sushi in a boat tastes the best.

Extra! Extra! Lipgloss & Those Girls Combine to take Pittsburgh by storm!

2010-05-19T15:54:00.003-05:00

As I pack my bags (including my one lonely Pittsburgh Pirate tshirt) I am making a mental note of all the things that Oh, Those Girls and I have decided we wanted to do:
· Breakfast Sundaes at DeLuca’s
· Walk by the giant hamburger
· Steak and Lube
· Baseball
· Tour
· Eating
· Walking
· Garrett Jones Bobblehead
· Eating
· Baseball

However will we fit it all in?

One of my fave Pittsburgh memories – the room service menu at the hotel

Wish us luck and follow our twitters for shenanigans as they happen!

@baseballipgloss

@baseballhappy

Pittsburgh Affair! Plus proof that I fangirl my own city: My Faves of Minneapolis – Music, Beer & Food

2010-05-12T14:40:00.004-05:00

Pittsburgh or Bust
In one week and one day I will be hurtling in an airplane towards the east coast and Pittsburgh, PA. Now, most of you may know how I am in love with Pittsburgh…the city, the people, PNC Park and the Pittsburgh Pirates. I almost feel dirty because I am cheating on my first love of Minneapolis/Twins. Anyways, I am so very much looking forward to this baseball weeked with Those Girls & Pittsburgh, The City. It is Garrett Jones Action Figure Weekend and well…let’s be honest…shenanigans are bound to happen when there is beer, a city, and an action figure.

Hometown Pride
There are so many awesome things about Minneapolis…it’s almost impossible to list them BUT I am going to give it a try.

Music

Tune into 89.3 The Current on Saturday, May 15 and enjoy Minnesota music at its finest. The Current will be playing only Minnesota music all day long. Check out their Minnewiki for more info.

Beer

There are some kickass breweries here in Minnesota (and Wisconsin). The past few years I have been…hesitant to order Premium Grain Belt whilst rocking out at First Ave or any outdoor music festival because…well…because of Hipsters. For a while there Premium was the Hipsters Choice of Beer and that really turned me off it. Thankfully, the flighty tendencies of the hipsters have them moving on to tallboys of PBR. Whew! Now I can enjoy my local brew again! Plus, last month they launched a new brew in their collection… Grain Belt Nordeast! If you are a local guy or gal you know that Nordeast is known as the Hipster Capitol of the world and yet that won’t discourage me from testing this newest edition to the Beer Family. (Word has it that the secret ingredient is tears from a crying hipster at a Vampire Weekend concert.)

Food

Photo from http://www.michaelbirawerart.com

Matt’s Bar, the Institution. Besides music and beer I find myself having a lot of pride in one place…a bar that serves hamburgers…nee Amazingly Simple Tasty Treasure Filled Hamburgers. Matt’s Bar, the Institution. This place holds a special place in my heart (and my neighborhood). It is the home of the ORIGINAL Jucy Lucy. Man vs Food was there, food wars, Andrew Zimmerman, Anthony Bourdain…they all have to stop at Matt’s Bar and so should you! Hey, if you are coming to town this summer to check out the new Target Field give me a call and I’ll take you to Matt’s. A couple months ago I got to show/brag/preen/crow/introduce Matt’s Bar to Sarah (Scoreboard Gourmet) to the awesomeness of the Jucy Lucy. You can read her recap here plus tons of other great stadium food items (including a bunch from Target Field).

This is where d’you go music, this is come home music/This is down to the wire I’m such a perfect angel music

2010-04-26T14:58:00.001-05:00

It’s baseball and that’s all you need to know.
Summer time is just around the corner and baseball season is already in full bloom. Now is the time of year where I juggle my life into two categories: Baseball and Non-Baseball. Having season tickets (even a partial plan) is a tricky situation of weighing pros and cons. There are many events that I know four months in advance that I can’t attend due to having tickets to a game. This is often not well received. So, in preparation for the season I am working on my list of excuses. Here are a few that I have thought up on the fly. Any additional bullet points to add to the list would be greatly appreciated.

Excuses to why I can’t attend events due to having tickets to a baseball game
·Jason Bartlett is only in town for these four days. I need to go see Barty at least three of those days.
·I mean, I assume that your marriage will last a couple days after your wedding and I’ll give you your present then.
·It’s my last game that I have tickets for against Detroit that happens to fall on a Tuesday on the second week of the month.
·I don’t wanna.
·It’s the only night where wearing a shower cap and holding a broom is appropriate.
·Dollar Dog Night.

Hometown Hero Homecoming
I am often found rolling my eyes or snarking on national broadcasts of the Twins games…mostly due to the fact that no matter who is playing and what is happening ESPN can relate it to something of the Yankees. Now, y’all know how I feel about American’s Darlings (I happen to like a lot more of their fans more than the actual team) so it’s pretty safe to say that I don’t tolerate those shenanigans. However, ESPN is broadcasting a new episode of E:60 in which they “go home with Major League Baseball star Joe Mauer…” Hey, a shot at checking out sites around Minnesota, laughing at Minnesota accents, and seeing what a good guy that Joe Mauer is…count me in. Check it out tomorrow night (4/27) at 6 p.m. on ESPN.

Song of the Day – can’t get it out of my head
This song sounds like another song that I love. I just can’t figure it out. Anyways, the song is awesome. Give it a listen.

Hockey – Song Away

Photos: Target Field - Part 2

2010-04-22T14:18:00.006-05:00

First thing's first...Walks WILL haunt you
This is by far one of my favorite graphics from back in the Old Metrodome Days (ah, it's lovely to remember back five months ago) and seeing it in my new favorite place...well, that was pretty damn special. What was ALSO special was Zack Greinke (Royals) giving up enough walks so that I was sure to get a photo of the graphic.

Kirby!

Finally scored a Kramarczuk's polish sausage!

Fancy instructions on how to flush the toliet.

Cheesecurd in a canoe.

I may be trippin on acid.

Stacy & me!

Photo editing fun! Since I took about eleventy billion photos of the same scene I decided to play around with my editing software.

Photos: First night game at Target Field Part 1 - 4/16/10 vs. Kansas City Royals

2010-04-20T13:13:00.008-05:00

I have been told many, many times these past few weeks that it seems I am a bigger fan of Target Stadium than I am of the actual Twins team. Untrue...to a point. I will admit that I may in the top 5% of the Target Field Fan Club...you may even say that I FANGIRL Target Field. I was very exited to be able to attend the first night game at our new ballpark and got very shutter-happy when it came to taking pictures. If I could have committed myself to staying in one spot I would have done a time-elapse of the sun setting. Anyways...the ballpark and the city are both beautiful as the sun sets down. Enjoy!

Target Field, April 16, 2010 - Minnesota Twins vs. Kansas City Royals

2009 AL Cy Young Winner - Zack Greinke

He was a Midwestern boy on his own/She looked at him with those softy eyes, so innocent and blue

2010-04-16T10:40:00.002-05:00

T-10 hours until I head to Target Field for my first Regular Season Game (and the first night game)
First I have to make it through an entire work day and then a work happy hour (poor me, eh?) Then watch out ballpark, I am a-coming for ya! I am most excited about seeing 2009 AL Cy Young winner Zack Greinke pitching against Not-Broken-Scotty-Baker. I also want to try some new food, have a beer, do a little shopping and watch a little baseball.

Almost a week late but nonetheless
Last Saturday, Sarah (Those Girls and @baseballhappy) and I were invited to Rock Bottom Brewery to be their special guest bloggers/tweeters for the Biggest Twins Fan contest. It was AWESOME! When Sarah and I get together there is normally a fair amount of snark and laughter and mocking/joy/hilarity…then you add in free beer and we have doubled our efforts. (The Power of Beer.) It was also nice to see K-Bro again and The Other Sarah (@loleets)

So…thank you to:
Lola Red
Rock Bottom Brewery
Beer
Sarah for driving across the border!

For a more detailed/humor/photographic recap of the event check out Sarah’s blog: Crowning the Biggest Twins Fan

Now, for the serious portion of this blog – Minnesota Nice?
For the second time in two weeks I was told that many Minnesota Twins bloggers were reached out to but no one had responded (minus myself and/or Sarah). Do Minnesota Twins bloggers not like to reach outside the Twins Tweet-up circle? I find that meeting with visitors from NY or Chicago or L.A. or Wisconsin and networking around is a great way to share the love of baseball.

Ch-ch-ch-check it out
I found through a happenstance of tweets a very interesting blog entry written by @MissyJo_25 regarding the comments that Mr Orlando Hudson (of the Minnesota Twins) made. There are two things that struck me about this posting… 1.) Very interesting spin on the topic and 2.) Another great post made by a female baseball fan. Check it out here: Wronged Man Out

Music of the Day – Always makes me happy
Bob Seger – Hollywood Nights

Beer & Baseball: Live Blogging from Rock Bottom Brewery (hopefully)

2010-04-10T15:01:00.004-05:00

I am heading to Rock Bottom Brewery in downtown Minneapolis in about…two hours. Sarah a la @baseballhappy (from Oh, Those Girls) will be joining me to do some live blogging and tweeting from their Rock Bottom Brewery’s Biggest Twins Fan Competition! So, keeping watching this space and following along on my Twitter account - @baseballipgloss.

Oh and be a tiny bit jealous because Rock Bottom Brewery has awesome food and I am a fan of their Northern Light brew. Mmm…baseball.

Thanks for the invite, Rock Bottom!

*disclaimer: Hopefully I can get the wifi set up. If not I will for sure be live tweeting.

So we livin life like a video where the sun is always out/And you never get old and the champagne’s always cold

2010-04-05T15:28:00.004-05:00

Let the 2010 Baseball Season Begin…
I have been waiting for this day since the second week of October.

HAPPY OPENING DAY!

2010 is the most exciting time to be a Twins fan:
*We have an amazing new stadium…er, ballpark.
*We have Baby Jesus (Mauer) signed to a eleventy billion year/dollar contract
*We are getting plenty of press and publicity

So, let’s talking about this amazing new ballpark – Target Field
I went to the exhibition game on Saturday with Vegan Joe. Here are the notes that I took mentally & written on my cellphone as I went through the day.

Commuting: There still needs to be a lot more thought put into the Light Rail system for it to be a viable “commuting” option. I had a ridiculous wait time coming and going to Target Field. I have some suggestions but I don’t think anyone hear has the ear of the transit authority. My only advice is if you are going to any games in the first month that you drive and park a ways away from the field or if you take the train to plan on going very early (like 2 hours) and leaving long after the game ends.

Food: I tried the Asian noodles (only one stand left of Hrbek’s). They were okay…the noodles were a little soggy but the veggies were very fresh and crisp. I love that they came in a standard Chinese take-out container and had chopsticks. Yum! I am compiling a list of food I want to eat: Tony O’s Cuban Sandwich, Something from the Mexican stands, Kramarczuk’s sausage, root beer, helmet sundae, state fair food, onion rings, their lame attempt at the Jucy Lucy, excuse me Juicy Lucy.

Prices: Ticket prices aren’t that much different. My advice is to buy the cheapest ticket and then wander around the stadium and check out all the different views. Food and beer prices went up significantly but I figure it was about time that happened…plus I am willing to pay a dollar or two more for something I want to eat.

Seating: Again, buy the cheapest ticket and wander. We spent two innings in our seats and then we walked around. That’s the perk of the new park. You can see the field for everywhere. We walked the length of the third level and then took some mysterious back stairs down a level to do a lap. Finally we hit the first, most popular, and best level. There we found the noodles and amazing views of the field. We also found the State Fair stand and the bullpen. We made a brief appearance in Hrbek’s bar. A really awesome location to hang out and chat. So, even if you are seated by some Class A Douchebags (and I can only guess that there will be a lot) you can leave and enjoy the experience somewhere else.

Shopping: FINALLY! The Minnesota Twins have an awesome Clubhouse Store (or something along that line) at Target Field. The store is huge and has almost one whole wall dedicated to women. There are great tshirts, hoodies, ect. Alas the prices are very expensive. I found a pretty awesome vintage tee (to rival my favorite baseball shirt which is a Pirate’s one) but the cost was $49.00. That’s a lot of cheese for a tshirt.

Fangirly Moments:
I said no less than 20 times that “I Heart Target Field”!
*David Cook is singing the National Anthem for the Kansas City Royals home opener. Hey, he’s gotta be a good guy if he sticks with his hometown team! Come on, it’s the Royals!
*Wally the Beerman is at Target Field hocking his wares and I totally gave him a shout-out.

Photo Ops, yo!
Here are the pictures I took around the ballpark on Saturday. I used my cellphone camera so I did some touching up/editing/funky things to them to make them look better. (@MLB even RT’ed two of my pictures and contributed to me getting an ass-load of new followers – HOLLA!)

Music of the Day
Jay Z – Young Forever

And the ball goes up, and the ball comes down/He swings his bat all the way around

2010-04-04T09:58:00.003-05:00

I smell like baseball
And you can too!

The lovely woman behind the amazing The Herb Garden (http://www.herbgardencreations.com) site creates awesome products with the yummiest sounds scents! Lotions, soaps, shampoos, perfume, sprays, and scrubs…oh my! The pretty much made the 2010 baseball season for me by creating a very special Baseball & Lipgloss scent (named after this very blog).

Baseball and Lipgloss - Created by a friend who wanted a fragrance that reminded her of sitting in the stands at the Twins games. Newly cut grass, candy, beer, crackerjacks and fresh air. *HG Exclusive*

Now, doesn’t that sound like a game at the new Twins stadium – Target Field?

On the Radio
On Sunday evening I will be a special guest on a brand new weekly podcast – Throwing Like A Girl. I am excited to talk about the new stadium, Joe Mauer, hatred of pink jerseys and whatever else will be a hot topic. I will NOT be talking about David Cook evidently :) One of the hosts always teases me about fangirling David Cook and she outed me on the Podcast write-up:

Jen Kubiszewski, proud resident of Minneapolis and author of the Twins blog baseball & lipgloss will talk about her pre-season visit to Target Field and her hopes for the new ballpark. (Try not to mention anything about David Cook.)

Tee hee hee. It makes me giggle.

Music of the Day
Kenny Rogers – Baseball Song

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…these are a few of my favorite things

2010-03-30T12:16:00.006-05:00

Oprah has her favorite things, right? A show packed with tons of stuff given away and her loud voice.

Well, it’s about damn time Lipgloss & Baseball did our (my, it’s just me) favorite things issue!

*insert Oprah’s booming voice*

LAAAAAADIES AND GENTLEMENNNNN LIPGLOSS & BASEBALL'S FAAAAAVORITE THINGS!!!

Now, before y’all get stoked thinking you get everything I present on here I need to warn you…that ain’t happening, yo! The best I can offer you are some booze filled cupcakes and a mix CD of my favorite music (which may include an Adam Lambert and/or David Cook song).

My 2010 Season Tickets

This Twins book that Ari (from NJ) sent me (and my Ryan Star wallpaper)

David Cook (and his hot guitarist). David Cook is in Ethiopia right now working with an organization for the Idol Gives Back event this year. You can only guess how much I fangirl him now.

The Herb Garden! I have my very own scent that they created for me (Baseball & Lipgloss). You should check her stuff out and especially MY scent :)
http://www.herbgardencreations.com/

Baseball and Lipgloss - Created by a friend who wanted a fragrance that reminded her of sitting in the stands at the Twins games. Newly cut grass, candy, beer, crackerjacks and fresh air. *HG Exclusive*

Beer.

Pittsburgh, the Pirates, PNC Field

My giant foam finger!

Lucy! (celebrating her first game and first birthday)

Lucy, again. Bless her sassy little heart. She's not a fan of baseball...yet.

The Monday Night Happy Hour Crew

Zeppelin the Dog!

#34

Margaritas

Tailgating (and Bloody marys)

Boxed Wine (proof is in the avi someone made me)

Booze-filled cupcakes

Photos: Target Field from the eyes of a four year old & her (totally cool) auntie

2010-03-22T14:35:00.007-05:00

Target Field Open House – March 21, 2010

(heat view map - kinda groovy)

“Because We Said So” is not an answer.

2010-03-16T16:12:00.001-05:00

We interrupt this blog so I can stand on my soapbox and say my piece. Don't you worry, the next one will be full of pre-season stuff, cup o noodles & a youtube video of a coworker dancing drunk to Outkast's "Hey Ya".

Well, it appears the hottest of hot topics is at a full boil. I may as well dip my feet in since I do have feelings and opinions on this subject. First off, if you are not aware of the shenanigans regarding MLB launching a new line of female-centric baseball clothing via Victoria’s Secret then get yourselves over to Metsgrrl and read her blog (and you better damn well comment too!)

45% OF THE TOTAL FANBASE

So, now that you’ve read that can I bitch for a moment?

Oh, I may as well warn you that right now I have this ridiculous song in my head…hey sister, go sister, soul sister…

Funny how this topic and these feelings can be skewed. I, for one, am not a fan of finally getting some women’s MLB attire and publicity via Victoria’s Secret. I don’t like it. I don’t think I am asking for much here… I want regular, plain, simple, basic styles for females. Delmon Young numbered shirt? Hardy? Hudson? Something just simple? Hell, if I want a quirky saying or a funky color or logo I’ll just make it my own damned self. I am not above (or below) whipping out puffy paint or utilizing Café Press.

The issue here is simple: The big cheeses at MLB/Marketing/Press/Customer Relations/ Ect are not listening. Instead of saying, “hey, thanks for your suggestion” they respond in a very defensive manner. Yo, you don’t gots to be stonewalling me, MLB. I stonewall my own self. Cater to fans. Cater to the season ticket holders. Cater to the participants, bloggers, tweeters, subscribers. Cater to me!

I told you it was simple.

And since I am on a ranting rage today I decided to type up an open letter to MLB.

Dear @MLB,

I love that you guys totally support Alyssa Milano. She’s an awesome female baseball fan! However, I would appreciate if you would stop using her and the new Victoria’s Secret MLB line as the answer to the “why don’t you have more female-friendly gear?” question. Because honestly? Alyssa Milano and I don’t have the same taste in clothing. It would be like if men’s clothing would be designed by Kramer (of Seinfeld) or James Bond. Would you reaaaaally be comfortable sitting in a stadium wearing hounds tooth or a tuxedo?

Why don’t YOU (the men at @MLB) wear some of this stuff that you are touting and let’s see how practical/comfortable/prideful you feel with it on. Okay? I double-dog-dare you. BECAUSE I sure the hell wear men’s clothing…t-shirts, hats, bracelets, Twins logo socks. That sounds ridiculous right? That’s kind of my point. It is ridiculous. I don’t want pink shoved down my throat. I have an aversion to it…blame my red hair coloring. I don’t want “Mrs. ” t-shirts. I definitely don’t want knock-off Swarovski crystal baseball jewelry (accented with pink gemstones). It’s tacky, not tasteful. How about something that’s fitted, with team colors, an altered logo, less boxy, tasteful t-shirt? Seriously. I will take one awesome t-shirt over an amazon.com shop full of the swill you try to sell us.

-Jen

DISLAIMER: the pink gear and accessories that are used on Mother’s Day and for Breast Cancer awareness are 100% awesome and acceptable.

2nd DISCLAIMER: I am completely irrational and if you don’t know that by now then you have grossly misjudged my personality. I am the gal who hate dolphins, suburbs and deer…if those aren’t irrational hatred/fears than what is?

Well she was an American girl, raised on promises

2010-03-15T14:24:00.003-05:00

New blog to check out
The illustrious Metsgrrl has launched new blog called All Down the Line: Baseball Roadtripping. She has some great views of different stadiums and a list of new places she’s checking out this year.
Follow along: http://www.alldowntheline.com

Countdown, yo!
2 days until St. Patrick’s Day and the World’s Lamest St. Paddy’s Day Parade (the Minneapolis one is sad but I am very loyal to it)
6 days until I go to the Target Field Open House (and I get to aquiant myself with my new seat)
19 Days until the Exhibition game at Target Field

Cupcakes & Baseball
So awesome to hang with some baseball peeps this weekend. Sarah (of Oh, It’s Those Girls) deserves major kudos for motivating all of us to get together. Unfortunately there were two separate events (and one of them was in some town called Apple Valley) so there was a giant riff in the Baseball Space Time Continuum. It was a kind of obvious riff, like the big elephant in the room. Not gonna lie, the idea of Sarah, cupcakes & an event near the “cities” was the leading factor in choosing how I chose. Oh, and I didn’t even know about the other event so…yeah…Anyways, I made my booze filled cupcakes and attempted a new recipe of Red Velvet cupcakes filled with vanilla vodka pudding & cream cheese frosting. I am not a fan of red velvet but I am a fan of cream cheese frosting.

I bake around booze.

Anyone want to lick these clean? I totally stained my hands bright red. Fancy.

Red Velvet cupcake filled with vanilla vodka pudding and topped with cream cheese frosting
Chocolate cupcake filled with Bailey's pudding and topped with a ganache of sorts
Pineapple Upside down cupcake with rum soaked pineapple and cherries.

Blogs with Balls
http://blogswithballs.com/

Who’s going?

A taste of Minnesota
This past week I went to the Riverview Wine Bar and Café. Any good Southsider (south Minneapolis, yo) knows of the Riverview Movie theater (city’s best popcorn and $2 movies) but maybe you don’t know about the Riverview Wine Bar & Café. The Wine Bar’s menu has five pages of wine and one page of food. I happen to heartily approve of that ratio of booze to food. Anyways, the food is pretty amazing and I always recommend checking out the specials written on the chalkboard. The Roasted Winter Vegetable Pizza was a winner and you can never go wrong with baked brie. Connected to the Wine Bar is the Riverview Café. They have a display of drool-worthy desserts in the glass case along with pre-made sandwiches. My favorite part is getting coffee beans. I am somewhat of a coffee snob and strive to find great blends that are fresh and unique. Anodyne Café has the 42nd Street Blend and Riverview Café has the Riverview Blend. I highly recommend it, along with the fact it cost $12.60 for a bursting full bag of ground beans.

Music of the Day
Ah, Tom Petty. Nothing puts me in a better mood than riding around in my jeep with the sunroof open and Tom Petty blasting through my speakers. I was lucky enough to see him in concert…two years ago and I happen to be lucky enough to get to see him again this summer. Since baseball is the all-American sport I am going post American Girl, a song that I am unable to not sing along with.

Tom Petty – American Girl

I get knocked down but I get up again, you’re never gonna keep me down

2010-03-10T14:51:00.002-06:00

He drinks a whiskey drink.
He drinks a vodka drink.
He drinks a lager drink.
He drinks a cider drink.
He sings songs that remind of the good times.
He sings songs that remind me of the better time.

Firstly, be impressed that those lyrics were typed completely from memory. Secondly, be glad you don’t sit by me today and have to hear me humming them all day long.

So, we’ve been dealt a couple “less than thrilling” bits of information. So…Joe Nathan may be out for the year. So…Joe Mauer and his agent haven’t announced any signings. So…Lucy asked about women’s “monthly cycles” and I panicked and told her to ask her mom! So…kind of sucks and is a little awkward right now BUT there are still plenty of things to look forward to:

Top 10 Things to Cheer Me Up (mostly baseball related)
10. Seeing Orlando Hudson (or O-Dog as he likes to be called) and JJ Hardy in Twins Spring Training gear.
9. Beer
8. Not too long until I am playing hooky from work on a beautiful summer day and going to catch a day game.
7. Taco Bell has now added Shrimp to their menu of questionable meats. Why is this a cheer-me-up? Well, think about it…Taco Bell has shrimp. You gotta be shaking your head and smiling.
6. Um…I love David Cook? I mean, it’s kind of obvious at this point.
5. I can count backwards from 10, proof is in the pudding.
4. I bought single-game tickets for the Fourth of July weekend and hope to spend it spazzing/drinking/cheering/sunburnt with Sarah (of Oh, Those Girls notoriety.)
3. Beer
2. Baseball Blogger/Tweeter Meet-up is this Saturday! More details here.
1. The exhibition games are just around the corner, literally. I better pick rush-delivery on that Twins Snuggie.

BONUS:
I find that this Fill in Your Own Garbage Pail Kids Name card pretty apropos for my crankiness. Try it…it’ll help.

#20
This very blog that you are reading right at this moment made it in the Newsbobber.com Top 60 Minnesota Baseball Blogs. I placed a very respectable #20. If that doesn’t get me an invite to some events, what will? I better get my Betsey Johnson prom dress out and ready for the red carpet!

Funny Ha Ha
If you need a laugh and further proof of why I fangirl Sarah (of Oh, It’s THOSE Girls) please read her latest blog entry. It made me laugh out loud and then have to read snippets to my co-workers.

David Aardsma Is My Spirit Guide

Cute Photo of the Day

Meet Gabriel! His mama is Ames (my baseball partner in crime)! He came home all the way from Ethiopia on Friday and I got to welcome him at the airport. Can’t wait to take him to his first game!

***Please note that I was going to do a filler-blog post about Cup O Noodles and baseball but due to this already lengthy post I am postponing it until next time.

Baseball and Music – greatest thing together since Peanut Butter & Chocolate…or Vodka and Everything

2010-03-02T10:38:00.003-06:00

I get to fangirl my two favorite things in one spot - Baseball and Music!
For those who are not familiar with the band The Hold Steady, let me introduce you to their lead singer Craig Finn. Craig Finn is a Minnesota boy who moved to New York and sings in one of my Top 50 bands! (Also, that Harry Potter actor guy named them as one of his favorite bands too…so if you are into that kind of stuff maybe that will rock your boat.) He just happens to be one of the biggest Minnesota Twins fans in the world! When asking for some topic ideas earlier today @Desilove jumped right in with the suggestion of Craig Finn. The singer is often found sporting Twins gear whilst rocking out on stage…especially in rivalry locations – Chicago, New York, ect.

Sometimes it is hard to be a Minnesota Twins fan:
· Minnesota Nice can only stretch so far before I take my hoop earrings out at start with the BitchSox (White Sox), Ligers (Detroit Tigers) & Stankees (you can probably figure this one out) references.
· Having the Pohlad’s hold the purse strings.
· Being called a small market team in that tone of voice that makes me want to say “Hulk Angry” and then turn green and giant and start stomping on buildings.

BUT it will never be as hard as being a Minnesota Twins fan in Yankees territory!

Articles:
ESPN: Chat with musician Craig Finn

Some gems from his Q&A with ESPN

Eric in Hartford, Conn
As a long-time Braves fan, I demand to know when Craig is going to denounce Kent Hrbek’s reprehensible conduct in the 1991 World Series. Ron Grant deserves justice!

Craig Finn
Watch that play in slow motion! See if it looks like Kent pulled him of the bag. If you still think that, you are watching with Braves eyes. When are the Braves going to apologize for Jane Fonda being in the dugout?

Kevin (NYC)
I know you are a big Twins fan, but living in Brooklyn now, do you have a favorite New York team? (and I‘d hope if you do, it’s not the Yankees)Craig Finn
New York Mets. I can see them most nights on TV. I was happy to see Santana land there instead of the Yankees or Red Sox. They are just a fun team to watch. A good friend of ours has season tickets so we go sometimes.

Nate P. (St. Paul MN)
If fate turned out differently and you were a baseball player instead of a musician, what would your batter-up music be?

Craig Finn
I think Jailbreak by Thin Lizzy! It’s a pretty good riff! It’s not super powerful but it would be great for a singles hitter.

Sporting News – Interview: The Hold Steady’s Craig Finn Talks About Baseball, The Twins And More

Keep your eyes and ears open for the release of their new album, Heaven is Whenever, coming out in May 2010

Twitter/Tweeter/Twats/Twits: You say toe-may-toe, I say toe-mah-toe

2010-02-26T13:39:00.004-06:00

Twitter Me This
I decided it is time to re-launch my baseball twitter account since I am sure 80% of my twitter peeps are sick of me fangirling baseball (oh, they’re totally fine with me fangirling David Cook and Booze). So, let me remind you to follow me at Baseballipgloss if you aren’t already! I love to tweet during baseball games, much to the chagrin of whoever is attending with me.

Spotlight Twitterers:
Orlando Hudson
Question: Who do you think is actually running Orlando Hudson’s twitter? It’s mostly RTs and third person references.

Denard Span
But I am loving Denard Span’s tweets!

Minnesota Twins
I don’t know who is running it but I loved the twitpics from the offices at Target Field and all the Twins Fest tweets!

TC the Bear
I also think our very own Kbrobaseball and him are destined to be best friends! :)

REMEMBER – Only you can prevent forest fires and only you can attend the 2nd annual MN Baseball Twitter/Blogger/Fan meet-up!
Last summer Sarah (Oh, Those Girls) and I had a small but tasteful gathering of Twins fans at my house to welcome a special guest (Amanda from NY) . There was beer, chips and my puppy in my backyard. This year Sarah got the ball rolling and we’ll be meeting up at CHAMPPS in Richfield on Saturday, March 13 to watch the televised Spring Training game and eat baked goods. I am going to make my Getting Drunk of My Bailey’s Cupcakes cupcakes and maybe another booze filled product. So…stop by! Say hi! Everyone and anyone is welcome (well, I don’t want to see Bernie Madoff or Denny Hecker crashing the party) and we swear we aren’t as cliquey as we seem. In fact, Sarah is probably the most entertaining person I know!

Baseball, Beer, and Baked Goods
March 13 at 11:45 a.m.
Champps in Richfield (790 W. 66th Street)

Check out her post here with details on RSVPing

Photo(s) of the Day
This is not baseball related BUT I am in the process of editing photos that I took from the MWK concert I went to in Tulsa last week. Thought I’d post a couple Tulsa/MWK related photos here, strictly for entertainment value!

I walked Route 66 in Tulsa many times in those few days. Sometimes I was even sober!

It’s harder to feel, stuck under wheels/Grinding in motion that keep you all right

2010-02-22T16:41:00.003-06:00

Out of the Loop
Okay, so I have been MIA (hibernating at my local drinking establishment and cursing the winter that gives us snow and no baseball) SO that means I have missed out on new blogs of note that I should be following. This is your time to chime in and let me know if there are any new blogs (they don’t have to be Twins centered) that I should check out.

Blogger/Twitter/Talking/Chatter/Random Baseball Meetup!
Also…piggybacking off of Sarah at Oh, It’s Those Girls (yes, I am a lazy schmuck these days) here are the details for the Twins meetup she’s planning for March 13!

Baseball, Beer, and Baked Goods
March 13 at 11:45 a.m.
Champps in Ritchfield (790 W. 66th Street)

Check out her post here with details on RSVPing

I will be there with my Bailey’s filled chocolate cupcakes and maybe my rum filled pineapple upside own cupcakes and maybe something new. I love baking with booze! AND I love baseball! Be there or be square!

About damn time
Anyone else breathing a sigh of relief that Spring Training has begun? So, to celebrate I am going to post a baseball picture a day (one of mine of course) to get ready for the 2010 season!

Wanna hear something pretty?
I went to this concert last week and saw this live!
Mid West Kings – Stuck Under Wheels

Pretty pictures and his TV Guide subscription goes to Miss. Chanadaler Bong

2010-02-17T15:11:00.006-06:00

Could this winter GO any slower?
(That’s my Chandler Bing or Chanadaler Bong impression.)

I am so ready for baseball that I can almost taste it! Brats and nachos and popcorn and peanuts and beer…lots of beer.

So, whilst we wait for reports to come in (or a Joe Mauer contract to be signed) let’s walk down memory lane, shall we?

· Plastic blue seats
· Dingy roof
· Ugly grass
· Corndogs on the plaza
· Beer spilling out of my cup because of the slanted cupholders
· Tears over the spilled beer
· Texting Sarah (Oh Those Girls) about the weird dancers in the pre-game activity
· Taking Lucy to her first game on her first birthday

Now photographic evidence that I am remembering stuff!

Okay, now I am off to Tulsa, Oklahoma for purely non-baseball stuff…like seeing MWK in concert. So, catch ya on the flipside, yo!

If you want me to hear/I’ll listen/To every word you say/Vera, it’s been 3 years since the day

2010-01-19T15:58:00.003-06:00

Hey batter, batter, batter…

MinnesotaTwins on twitter answered a few fan questions regarding the new field:
· No public tours are set as of right now but eventually something will be set up.
· All men’s restrooms will have urinals (I guess that means no more troughs. Huh)
· There will be fireworks!
· The proshop at Target Field will be opened year round
· Cupholders do not tilt (a very important issue! For real.)
· And yours truly asked about helmet sundaes and yes…there will be helmet sundaes.

Some signing news:
· Pat Neshek agrees to one-year, $625,000 contract.
· Carl Pavano signs a one-year, $7 million contract. (Those Girls, avert your eyes)
· Delmon Young agrees to one-year, $2.6 million contract

Step 1: Open package and do a little dance
I received my season ticket package welcome thingy this weekend! I maaaay have went “OMG THIS MAKES IT SUPER REAL, YO!” or I may have nodded my head and went, “That’s cool, man.” Either way IT IS HERE!

In non-baseball news in which I think I have some control over the future…
So. I posted on this a blog a song by a band called MWK. Do you know what happened next? They released a tourdate AND guess who is going? Moi. Me. Yo.
Court, Jess & I are roadtripping from Minneapolis to Tulsa, Oklahoma. Now here’s the best part of the news. I get to sing the entire soundtrack from Oklahoma on the drive down…or until someone throws me from the car.

OOOOOOOOOooooooooook. Lahoma where the wind comes sweepin down the plains

Vera – MWK (Andy Skib/To Have Heroes)

Where we be, we’ve come so far / I think I’ll just hold my breath ‘til I’m blue

2010-01-11T15:24:00.003-06:00

91 days until Home Opener

*Pause*
FOOOOOTBALL!
Okay, so let’s be honest here. What I know about football could fill up the plastic helmet in a helmet sundae. So really…not a lot. I know that I love Brett Favre. I know that Purple and Gold are NOT my colors (I am an summer/winter color scheme.) I know that I Jared Allen is defense and does this calf-roping move. I know that Longwell is our kicker. I know that I have to walk through a Women’s Line to get patted down upon entrance to the Metrodome. I know a lot, right? I know that tailgating under the Summit Beer Billboard makes me feel less evil than tailgating under the Desmond Tutu billboard. I know that bloody marys are NOT the way to go on a 0 degree day. I know that pouring a cup of Baileys and adding a splash of coffee to “warm it up” makes a lot of sense. I know that if you are a girl and you have to pee whilst you are tailgating that you should just resign yourself to the fact it will be life-changing-disgusting in the port-a-potty.

See? I know a lot.

Anyways, the Cowboys (sometimes I refer to them as the Yankees of football…or is that the Patriots? Eh, it changes back and forth) are coming to Minneapolis this weekend and I will be in Tent City tailgating with the Purple and Gold. I can’t friggin WAIT! With my very additive personality I have embraced football with wide open arms! GO VIKES!

Comings and goings

Signings
Right-handed pitcher Clay Condrey

Releases
Bobby Keppel – evidently he’s going to play the 2010 season in Japan. What a cool opportunity. I have always wanted to go watch baseball in Japan. You think we are stickler for rules…being a fan over there is a definite LIFESTYLE!

IN “tell me something I didn’t already know” NEWS
Mark McGwire came out…about using steroids. I go back and forth on me level of madness. Yeah, I am mad that he got away with it. Sure, I think it’s ridiculous that he still has a job with the Cardinals. Hey, he was kind of a douche. Eh, who cares? He did wrong. I do NOT believe that it ruined baseball forever and ever. To those of you who now wash their hands of the sport…well, guess you won’t be watching ANY professional or collegiate games of any event. Sucks to be you. Pedestal. I shall smite ye from it!

To Have Heroes – Til Im Blue

There’s no place like home/With your family around you you’re never alone

2010-01-08T09:33:00.003-06:00

Bert Blyleven is the Susan Lucci of MLB Hall of Fame
Well, Circle Me Bert did not make it into the HOF this year. Now…the people that did get voted in are very deserving…that’s not being questioned here. If you are a member of the committee and you did not vote (there are 5 of you, ‘fess up!) then shame on you. Now, maybe Bert wasn’t the best or most popular out of the nominees but there’s no doubt he does deserve a spot in the HOF and just like Susan Lucci finally got her Emmy so will Bert get his plaque.

Season Tickets have been purchased
Alas, it’s only a 20 game plan but that’s plenty for me. You see, I have commitment issues…plain and simple. It all happened so fast! I got the cheap seats but at this point I just want IN the stadium! I found that my seats are homage to my beloved section 227…they are in section 307. There’s a 7, see? Lucky 7. It’s like Jackee will rise again in my baseball world of insanity!

The best part…the first game on my package is the first night game in the new stadium. It is going to be MAGICAL! Me thinks I need to buy the Twins faux-snuggie now. Nothing like logo fleece blankets with giant sleeves to hide the Baileys bottle as I pour it into a cup of piping hot coffee. Man, I am gonna LOVE outdoor baseball!

227 Theme Song – There’s No Place Like Home

GRAND REOPENING OF LIPGLOSS & BASEBALL!

2010-01-06T10:43:00.003-06:00

GRAND REOPENING OF LIPGLOSS & BASEBALL!

You say goodbye and I say hello…

Goodbye..

• Metrodome. Now that you are solely used by the Minnesota Vikings you have received a few new banners outside and a new name: The Mall Of America Field at Humbert H. Humphrey Metrdome. (That’s a mouthful, yo!) I will be waxing poetic about my love (and some hate) of the Metrdome in a separate post.

• To a few players we had grown to love. Including one Mr. Boof Bonser. I don’t think there was anyone more sad or a bigger fan of Boooof than Sarah (of Oh, It’s Those Girls ) and she summed up the news pretty emotionally/hilariously in the following entries: No Joy in Mudville, Day 2 of Booflessness, Booflessness Day 3 and 3.1

• Section 227! This is what I am most sad about. No more season tickets. No more section 227. No more of me saying 227 in a funny Jackee voice from the popular 70’s sitcom. No more cosby sweater dude in row 3. No more giant headphones man in row 1. No more Too Much PDA couple in row 2. Goodbye 227. I knew you well.

Hello…

• 2009 MVP Joe “Baby Jesus” Mauer

• Target Field and all the buzz of excitement.

• Opening day? I am putting a question mark after that because it is pretty much guaranteed that non-season ticket holder, non-connected, non-corporate sponsored fans will get a shot at home opener tickets. I could rant for DAYS over that but I will digress until it is a confirmed thing. Ha!
• 2010

This year brings a lot of excitement (over the new stadium), chanting (MVP! MVP!), travel (baseball trips on the calendar), sunblock, bar stools (to sit on in bars next to the stadium to watch the games), frusterations (small salaries, trades, bad weather), joy, “This is a perfect day for baseball”, skipping work for games, traffic, confusion, commuting, pride, airplanes (Pittsburgh, yo!), fangirling, eye rolling, snarling, clapping, singing, mocking, and…well, baseball.

Here’s to hoping that Brendan Harris still walks up to Warrant’s Cherry Pie, that the beer selection has improved and that I can get a lot of food on a stick at the new stadium.

LET’S PLAY BALL! (in 96 days)

ddddddddd…we interrupt this inactive baseball blog to bring you notes from Other Teams!!! dddddddddddd

2009-08-18T08:11:00.018-05:00

(btw – the Ds are like that “breaking news” sound that happens before old timey announcements.)

Yo baseball…waaaz up??

So, I have been MIA. I know that. You know that. Hell, my mom knows that because she follows my whereabouts via my blog!

BUT, I was on vacation (no, not for 2 months – smartasses) but it takes a lot of mental energy to plan and execute a successful vacation. Well, it takes some drinking, a couple maps, a plane ticket and my Sidekick (cellphone). Let me recap very briefly. Trust me, there’s baseball in it!

Landed in Philly.
Picked up my rental (a glorified peugeot but without the funness of saying “peugeot”) and stopped at every Sonic I could see.
Drove to Delaware.
Ate some crab cakes from a roadside stand (I am hardcore).
Went to Delaware State Fair.
Saw Gin Blossoms and made a prolific statement that they did not age well (sorry…they sounded good though!!!).
Slept in shady motel notell (no, it didn’t rent by the hour.)
Went to Maryland.
Visited family.
Met the famous Metsgrrl.
Sat in sweet seats at the Orioles vs. Royals game thanks to Metsgrrl.
Took a ridiculous amount of pictures of Grienke pitching.
Ate the World’s Best Pretzel (in the shape of an O too).
Realized that I have an accent.
Met with friends
Headed to Pittsburg to meet up with Sarah from Those Girls.
Pretty much fangirled all things related to the Pittsburgh Pirates
Went to Musikfest and pretty much dorked out with The Dirty Dozen
Sang karaoke
Flew home to Minneapolis

Let’s talk about Pittsburgh for a minute (since those are the pictures I have ready to post)!!! The City of Bridges!!! Home of the Super Bowl Champions Steelers and Pirates.

Let’s keep with the abbreviated theme - Things that sum up my trip to Pittsburgh:
*PNC Park
*The coolest mascot!
*Friendly staff
*Beautiful city
*Food
*Beer
*Build Your Own Slushies
*Fantastic seats
*Scoreboard graphics
*Garrett Jones
*Duct Tape Jerseys
*Hot Dogs launching
*Giveaways
*Free country music concert
*Hand Dipped Ice Cream
*Smorgasburgh
*Yingaling
*Vegetarian sandwiches with your choice of roast beef, ham or turkey
*Beer cheese dip
*Sarah

It was an amazing experience and I think Sarah and I fangirled/flailed/oooh-ed/awww-ed enough to have our own travel show – or at least a Visit Pittsburgh.com commercial. I’ll let these pictures tell the story!

Mullet! Straight ahead!

Confused? So were we. WTF Pittsburgh???

View from our seats

Heeeeee’s baaaaaack and throwing out the first pitch

Oh hey Garrett Jones! Zup?

This made me so happy!!! I received a couple “what the hell you doin lady” looks

Criiiiiiiistan Guuuuuuuuzman

Shit! He’s looking right. At. Me.

Why so pretty Pittsburgh?

Some third base coaches use signs. This dude yelled.

I don’t think you mean “vegetarian”

Paper plates with the Pirates logo on it made us say “OMG! This place has EVERYTHING!!!” and add that to our list of Things The New Twins Stadium Needs list.

This dude says “CHEER”, you say “WTF?”

You can check out all my Pittsburgh photos here.

Non-baseball but no less important - Cap in Hand Edition

Hey, are you a fan of live music? Do you want to support keeping smaller bands on the road?? Well, check this out!

I am a fan of this band called Burn Halo. Actually, Vee introduced me to them about…a gazillion years ago. He kept sneaking Burn Halo songs on mixed CDs (that’s soooooo 1999) until I finally admitted that “YES I LIKE THEM!” and went out to buy a copy of their new self-titled CD (which is rad by the way). I know, I know…I usually fangirl Adam Lambert, American Idol, and other random music BUT this band is pretty badass. It’s rock. Harder rock. Like, headbang, turn it up loud, won’t be embarrassed to be stopped at a light in South Minneapolis singing along – rock. Well, they need our help. A series of unfortunate events is hindering (not to be confused with the band, Hinder) their tour. They are asking for monetary support to get themselves back together. Check out their Myspace Blog here – it’s legit yo!

Help Burn Halo, please donate

Also, if you are in the Minnesota/Wisconsin area you should check them out on Thursday, August 20. They are playing at The Rock in Maplewood. Now, y’all know how I feel about the fucking suburbs but I am hauling my city-girl ass out there to check this show out. A.) It’s Burn Halo B.) It’s the Rock which seems pretty awesome and tiny and cool and character-y C.) I am going to this show solo – I am a brave toaster and I can do it!!!

Music of the Day – ch ch check it out
Burn Halo – Dirty Girl

Been on the desert on a horse with no name/it felt good to get out of the rain

2009-07-09T09:05:00.003-05:00

OKAY OKAY OKAY!I am baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!Wait, let’s be honest. I wasn’t really anywhere. Just lazy, yo!
There is a LOT of stuff to cover here so I am doing it in bullet point format and you are required to read all the way through the end. Hey, there may be a surprise involved!

1.) Are you going to be in the Minneapolis area on Saturday for the Twins vs. White Sox match-up? Sarah (Oh, It’s Those Girls) & I are having a par-tay to welcome an Out-of-Towner! You may know her from her tweets @AmandaRykoff, formerly known as @CompanyWoman). You can also check out her podcasts here. She’ll be in town this weekend and we want to welcome her to the coolest Blogging/Twittering family! We’ll be pre-gaming at my house on Saturday, July 11 from 12:30 p.m. – 3:30 p.m. If you are interested in attending please RSVP to me at parkavepiraet@comcast.net and I’ll send you the details! Hope you see you all there!

1B.) Here’s the deal about the Saturday, July 11 game. It is Faith & Family night. Now, some of you are going to want to just skip down to #2 at this time. I’ll give you a moment to do that…

Faith & Family night. Some of you *cough*Amy*cough* are probably laughing at the fact I will be present in a location that is celebrating the two things I am most opposed to – faith and families. Now, before you start humming the “Cold Hearted Bitch” theme song just remember that I have some good things buried deep in my heart – vodka, love of music, plethora of swear words & a winning personality. See??? Let’s just say that I probably won’t be sticking around for the Jars of Clay concert afterwards – unless David Cook or Tom Petty or Adam Lambert or Gavin Rossdale are opening for them.

2.) HOME RUN DERBY IS NOW MORNEAUSEY-FREE. The rational part of my brain gets it. HOWEVER, the street-fighting, snarling, twirling, jazz hands, finger snapping part of my brain is going – WHA??? He’s gotta go back there and defend himself against all those “JOSH HAMILTON SHOULD HAVE WON” comments. Hey, did you know that Josh Hamilton came back from a drug problem? Let’s be honest. Justin Morneau probably doesn’t have the same brain pattern that I do so he’s probably not playing to save his swing. However, the trashy part of me works overtime and thinks that he’s fed up with the douchebaggery that happened last year. (Oh it was pointed out to me that maybe he doesn’t want to play because The Media couldn’t even be bothered to get his name right – JASON Morneau.)

Once again, I know that my irrational reasonings are NOT the actual reasons but they sure do sound spunky.
3.) There is nothing worse than walking into work after the Twins lose to the Yankees. You see, there are 3 types of baseball fans in MN: 1-Twins Fans 2-Fans of other teams who they are connected to 3-Yankees fans because they are America’s team. My office is 50% Twins Fans, 10% Other Team’s Fans & 40% Yankees fans. It sucks.

Non-baseball but no less important
Let’s keep the numbers rolling

4.) OF JULY! It was a blast. My day was so Americana that I should have painted stars & stripes on my…eyelids (heeey, I bet some of you were thinking something else. Tsk tsk.)

Zeppelin the Dog is patriotic

The red cup, Stacy & me

I call this...patriotic punch. You call it Blue Boone's Farm

Tara & Zeppelin the Dog

Lu & me

Will. I. Am is pretty badass for a 2 yr old

Me peeps!

5.) Okay, I am going to tell you guys this but I don’t want to hear ONE PEEP from youse guys about it. Okay? Can you handle that? *sigh* On Wednesday, July 15 IamgoingtoseeDavidCookinconcertinDuluth,MN.

6.) Adam Lambert may be the best thing since peanut butter cups. Proof?

Yup, I am okay with him being Lucy’s role model.

Music of the Day – One of the Classics Edition
America – Horse with no name

Sail away with me to another world/And we rely on each other, ah-ah/From one lover to another, ah-ah

2009-06-22T13:50:00.008-05:00

Whilst we are all dealing with a weekend of Asssstros let me take a moment to reflect upon the Twins Unplugged event. Alas, I am like 5 days late so y’all probably know what went down from the other bloggers/tweeters. Here are my thoughts:

* I can’t bring myself to eat waffle fries without Sarah (Oh, Those Girls)
* K-Brobaseball has the pretties eyes I have ever seen (and I sure hope that doesn’t start making her hold her fingers up in the cross/back away slowly position).
* The Twins have the coolest/sweetest/funniest bloggers/tweeters ever. Screw us giving the players awards! They should host an event for us! I am serious, yo!
* NotBrokenScottyBaker doesn’t look 12 when he’s in street clothes…I’m just saying.
* Glen Perkins is a funny guy! One may even say he’s sassy.

Here are my crap cell phone photos. Alas, I didn’t bring my new fancy camera because I was so discombobulated about driving to the suburbs on a weeknight that I threw my groove off. *shudders*

Once, twice, three times a lady
So, obviously the dude below isn’t a lady BUT I got that song stuck in my head whilst watching him spread his goods all out in section 227. Dude, ain’t nobody want to be seeing you spread out and all that jazz. The grandma from Princess Diaries says “Knees together”.

What else…what else…
OOOOOH YES!SAVE THE DATE – JULY 11
Blogger/Twitter meet-up

Now, we’ll have a very, very, very special guest to this occasion. Amanda (CompanyWoman) will be in town to experience Le Metrodome at its finest.

Dear Minnesota Twins,

You better bring it.

Love,
Jen

Music of the Day – My karaoke duet of choice (albeit cliché) Edition
Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers – Islands in the Stream

You were a storm/it blew us away/I wouldn’t leave you/but you couldn’t stay

2009-06-16T15:50:00.006-05:00

Bring on the pirate jokes!
As if Ames doesn’t have enough to deal with whilst attending a baseball game with me (twittering, twingo, shiny things, ADD, gossip, hold this please) she now has to deal with my slew of pirate jokes I’ll be busting out. Mmwwhwahaha. I sure hope she doesn’t read this until after the game.

Tonight I will be at the Metrodome, section 227 (Jack-kay) watching the Twins and Pirates. It’ll be the first time of seeing the Pirates but not the last. The pitching matchup is Mahlom and Perkins. I haven’t seen Glen Perkins in a while so I will hold judgment until he takes the mound.

K-Brobaseball really breaks down what Kubel has done for us. Sure, he may not have the fangirl club like the M&M boys, or the sassiness of Gomez, the nakedness of Redmond – he still has a lot of power.

Non-baseball but no less important

Dorkiness, thy name is Jen
So, I was at Super Target the other day and I kinda fangirled-out in the frozen food section. You see, they now make eggo waffles with Star Trek pictures on it. Basically I stood in front of that freezer gasping like a 13 year old with her Bop magazine.

Yes, I bought the fucking waffles.
No, I don’t even like toaster waffles.
Yes, I am eating one each day and taking a picture of it.
No, you’ll never be as cool as me.

Zeppelin the Dog Update
So, Zepp is like a real dog now. He’s kind of sassy, a bit naughty, a lot of energy, massive cuddler, super cute & a giant pain in the ass. BUT I <3 him so hard! On Sunday we all went for ice cream and Zepp had his first puppy sundae. As you can tell by the pictures below…he liked it.

Adam Lambert still pwns my soul
First, I don’t even friggin know what “pwns” means but I think it has something to do with “owns” but a misspelling that has stuck around as some sort of lingo.

Second,

Music of the Day – Ryan Star’s new album is out today on iTunes Edition
So you know, check it out. Maybe you can pick up a digital copy or something cool. I mean…whatevs.

Ryan Star – Last Train Home

Don’t got a lot of time/Don’t give a damn/Don’t tell me what to do/I am the man/Love of the loveless

2009-06-09T13:59:00.002-05:00

My favorite 3 Bs
Baseball.
Beer.
Bacon.

Last night on Twitter
It seemed like we got a little off-topic. It involved baseball, bloody marys, bacon infused vodka, brunch and well…all sorts of baconry.

Thanks to CompanyWoman,

Top 10 Bacon Quotes from Homer Simpson

My faves:

“Is it Bacon Day?”
“Mmmm. Move over eggs. Bacon just got a new best friend – fudge.”
“Mmm…bacon.”
“Mmm…unexplained bacon”

In conclusion,
Minnesota Tweet-up at Hell’s Kitchen for bacon-infused bloody marys!

Drafting
I’ve never watched the draft before. Shocked? No, you probably aren’t. I’ll be at a bar tonight that has a TV that they’ll let me pick the channel so… BASEBALL DRAFT HAPPY HOUR!

So, there was a game last night
AND it wasn’t pretty. Swarzy’s having a rough time. Will he still be in the rotation? Only Gardy and insiders know!

Non-baseball but no less important

I got a mix CD – they must luv me
My co-worker (and partner-in-crime) Steph made me a mix CD which is all kinds of awesomesauce:

Title: Vodka, Tots & Peanut Sauce
1. Love of the Loveless – Eels
* This song was on the Henry Pool Was Here soundtrack - awesome
2. Around the Bend – The Asteroids
* Makes me want to dance around my cubicle. Like bananarama but current
3. Know Your Enemy – Green Day
*The new one! I have to make the Billy Idol face and rock out hardcore!
4. Hollaback Girl – Gwen Stefani
* You know what? I ain’t no hollaback girl
5. Two Hearts Beat as One – U2
* A less popular but oddly endearing U2 song
6. The Most Beautiful Girl – Flight of the Conchords
*OMG! Bret & Jermaine really rock my socks. If you haven’t caught an episode – DO IT!
7. Soul Meets Body – Death Cab for Cutie
* In theory I mock the Death Cab but I really appreciate the talent of the lead singer – his writing is phenom!
8. Pump It Up – Elvis Costello
* Elvis Costello is always right.
9. Unsung - +/-
*Bands with names that are symbols are okay with me.
10. I Will Dare – The Replacements
* This reminds me of a breakup in which the ex boyfriend got the Replacements album. Asshat.
11. Bryn – Vampire Weekend
* This band never fails to make me smile.
12. Don’t You Evah – Spoon
* Evah? Helllz ya.
13. Forever My Friend – Ray LaMontagne
* This guy is genius. I was surprised when I saw him on SNL and he looked like a skinny Grizzly Adams but he is phenom!
14. In the Waiting Line – Zero 7
15. Left Behind – Zero 7

Jealouzzzz?

As if I didn’t have enough to be mocked about
I saw this…

And then I said

HOLY SHIT

And then my co-workers surrounded my desk to ogle Mr. Adam Lambert with me.

Fierce. Guess who’ll be at Barnes & Noble tomorrow morning?

ME!

Music of the Day – Listening to it right this second Edition

The Eels – Love of the Loveless

Birds flying high you know how I feel/Sun in the sky you know how I feel

2009-06-05T12:57:00.000-05:00

Things that made me laugh waaaaaaay harder than I should have

This blurb
Rock legend loves Joe Mauer
Rock legend Elton John, a big baseball fan, requested autographed pictures of the Twins' Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau, and in exchange provided autographed pictures of himself. John told Mauer he's the best catcher in the major leagues and said he wished Morneau played for the Atlanta Braves, of whom John is a big fan.

This picture

The font used on this advertisement

Congratulations are in order

Congrats to Baby Jesus for being named MLB's Player of the Month

Congrats to The Big Unit (which I can’t type or say without giggling like a 12-yr old girl) for his 300th win!

About last night…
Yesterday I skipped out of the Land O’Cubicles a little (lot) early to head to the Metrodome and watch some awesome baseball with Third Base Line.

Pictures from the game

Music of the Day – Lucy grooving out to Adam Lambert Edition
Lu hearts her some Adam Lambert soooo much!

Lucy & Adam Lambert – Feeling Good

I could join the circus/And you could sell your hair/I could learn to walk the line or learn to train the bears

2009-06-04T10:32:00.008-05:00

Tweets vs Twits
So, if you follow me on Twitter http://www.twitter.com/baseballipgloss) I would like to apologize for my trashy (and yet, humorous) tweets last night at the game. You see, it was actually a boring game (for a Twins fan). So, instead of bitching about the quiet bats, the lame fielding and the lack of Brenda Harris walking up to “Cherry Pie” anymore I’ll just let you read my tweets for yourself.

Oh, and since I talked about the cute usher (who was way more smiley and nicer than the guy we usually have) and the scrunchie here is some photographic proof!PHOTOS

Music of the Day – This is new to you all so you should check it out Edition

Ryan Star – We Might Fall

And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad/The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had

2009-06-02T12:51:00.006-05:00

Baseball, yo!
It’s gotta be something HUGE to have me let go of my self-proclaimed baseball blogging hiatus, right? Well, it is!!! Last night Twitter exploded with talk of an epic (EPIC) baseball Tweet-up on the East Coast!

Here’s what I know
7/31 Pittsburg Pirates with some awesome chicks! You going? You should be.
7/28-7/30 Baltimore/Kansas City match up with Metgrrl *cough* hint hint *cough* Anyone else? Those Girls?

I am having a difficult time remember that the reason I am going to the East Coast is for a friend’s wedding. Sorry Friend, baseball and a David Cook concert are really taking a lot of my time. I am sure she won’t mind if I show up to her wedding in a Carlos Gomez Twins shirt. Nope.

So, anyways…Twitter
Last week I declared on my @baseballipgloss twitter that I was back in the Baseball Tweeting Mode (now that American Idol was over) and boy, are some of you happy to not have to listen to me fangirl Adam. What’evs.

In which I look totally COOL at a baseball game

Yep, I stitch and pitch. Jealouzzz? I am attempting to teach my co-worker/friend Steph how to crochet. She’s actually doing a great job but I think I should stick with doing and not teaching. Sometimes I do things half-assed. Shocking, I know.

Non-baseball but no less important
Just some quick photos to update you on non-baseball things

I Love Adam Lambert

Lucy is still a friggin’ rockstar

Zeppelin the Dog still does not like Stairway to heaven

Music of the Day – Adam Lambert Melts Hearts Edition

Adam Lambert – Mad World

Dirty little girl don’t care about her reputation/She goes hard, moves fast and she’s never gonna turn around

2009-05-12T13:15:00.000-05:00

Los Tigrrrrrres
Guess who is pissing off her co-workers by saying “Twins versus Los Tigrrrrres”? Yeah, that’d be me. I don’t know why they are so touchy. I mean, I guess they are still a little leery after the month I spent singing “Sometimes when we touch, the honesty’s too much.” They may be a little gun-shy.

It’s like having to pick a favorite kid or brand of vodka
Yup, I sure am looking forward to another live baseball game tonight. Yup, I am. It’s gonna be good to sit in my “usual” seats and see the “usual” folks. Yup, it is. Yup.

OKAY! If you want the truth, I am a little conflicted because tonight is a big, important American Idol night. I mean, I want to be all “Baseball trumps Idol” and all that jazz BUT I just feel like I am cheating on my addiction to reality TV singing programs. Who is going to fangirl over Adam? WHO?????

My luckiness
I am wearing my Gomez t-shirt tonight to test my luckiness factor. The last time I wore it (this season) we lost. I give an item three chances before I retire it (see: Lucky Pirate Earrings of 2008).

‘Bout time someone recognizes the awesomeness of Wally The Beer Man
Mental Floss: Wally the Beer Man

Baseball Roadtrip
Well, hell. I had originally planned a short weekend flight to Philly to attend a friend’s wedding in Baltimore (cheaper flights into Philly and I can also sing Motown Philly back again…) but that plan has EXPLODED (or IMPLODED, depends on your outlook.) My three day weekend has turned into a full week and 55% of it is baseball related (and breweries/distilleries too.) I want to check out a Baltimore Orioles game *cough*with Metsgrrl*cough*, Nationals, and maybe the Pittsburg Pirates. If you have any Words of Wisdom to pass along regarding those teams (stadium, tickets, signs, don’t wear orange) please let me know! Oh, the other 45% will be taken up with visiting friends, seeing David Cook in concert, oh…and a wedding. Huh.

Non-baseball but no less important
Zeppelin the Dog eats Polly Pockets for breakfast…literally

This is…American Idol

Huh. Guess who is in possession of four tickets to the Season 8 American Idol concert? ME! You may be asking “Four seats? Why for you need four seats?” Well, it’s a good thing you asked. You see, I am taking Olivia (who I brought to last season’s concert tour). I know, that leaves two vacant seats, right? Wrong. September 1, 2009 when Adam Lambert and the rest of the Season 8 American Idols hit Minneapolis I will be in the audience with…LUCY (and her adult, which happens to be her mom, who is pretending to only go under duress but secretly wants to). Lu is pretty damn excited to see Adam, make a poster, and dance. I am pretty excited to do all those things alongside her.

Music of the Day – Gotta check this band out Edition
I tend to be a self-declared music snob and created this sliding judgment scale that goes: Good=Non-Nickelback Quality or Bad=Nickelbackesque. This band is Non-Nickelback Quality. They are a-rockin’. Beej saw them in concert and fangirled them pretty hard and when Beej likes them then I have to like him (he’s an even bigger self-declared music snob.)

Burn Halo – Dirty Little Girl

‘Cause you’re so beautiful/Like a tree. Or a high class prostitute/You’re so beautiful. Like a part time model

2009-05-04T21:15:00.010-05:00

Forgive me my sins
It was my birthday this past week, and not just any ordinary birthday – it was the nice, round, grownup sounding 30th birthday. Hey, a gal’s gotta celebrate extra hard!

First thing
Tonight’s game just ended with the Twins taking the first game of the series against Detroit. It is lovely to see a MN Starter pitch a great game and last 8 innings. We’ve been having bad luck in that department. (And that may be the Understatement of the Year.)

Photos from a slow game
I was at Sunday’s game (as in yesterday, yo) with Ames. I was enjoying my birthday beer and birthday brat – both of which taste way better when they have “birthday” written in front of them. I also got to meet up Scoreboard Gourmet who was touring the Metrodome. Not to be all happy-go-lucky-touchy-feely but she’s pretty damn awesome so check out her blog. I don’t think I have ever met someone who loves popcorn more than my coworker Steph. Now I am going to be looking at popcorn differently.

Sure, I am a twitter-whore
the first sight of the metrodome when arriving by train never fails to wow me. maybe I am just an emotional fool about the dome.12:41 PM May 3rd from mobile web

how do I always forget that sundays at the dome are kids/family day? better watch my swearing and pg-13 talking.12:59 PM May 3rd from mobile web

the twins are making my classic rock heart happy when 3 players have AC/DC as their walk-up music.1:33 PM May 3rd from mobile web

1st official banana clip sighting at the metrodome -2009.1:44 PM May 3rd from mobile web

um...nick punto's walk-up/at bat music is Thriller! kind of awesome!1:48 PM May 3rd from mobile web

every time there is a wild pitch the song “wild thing” plays and every time I wish it was "wild boys" by Duran Duran.2:14 PM May 3rd from mobile web

and yet another unsuccessful attempt to be in the Hormel Hot Dog Row of fame. booo!2:22 PM May 3rd from mobile web

RA Dickey's tall socks did not help to make me less pissed off.4:27 PM May 3rd from mobile web

Non-baseball but no less important
Zeppelin the Dog Update
Our adventures at the dog park full of nature. Damn nature, why you gotta be all pretty!

Flight of the Conchords
Saw them in concert last night and I figuratively laughed my ass off.

Birthday things

My lovely, silly coworkers made me a birthday poster that may have made me fangirl/blush.

In conclusion
Watch idol this week! Slash is going to be the mentor. Seriously, mother fucking, smoking a cigarette with three cans of aquanet in his hair Slash. Also, don’t forget to vote for your favorite idol *cough*Adam*cough* /end public service announcement.

Music of the day – Never fails to make me chuckle Edition
Flight of the Conchords – Most beautiful girl

Everybody’s unworthy and/Everybody loves everybody else and/Everybody takes off their sunglasses

2009-04-19T21:40:00.010-05:00

Well, it appears we are making up for the Toronto series
Sure, when the Blue Jays are in town we turned into fumbling 14 year old girls wearing their mom’s stiletto heels for the first time. However, we earned some cred back by sweeping the Angels.

Let’s take a moment and enjoy a blending of two of my favorite things: Baseball and American Idol
This week the American Idol Top 7 went to the LA Dodgers game (hence the Dodger gear, yo!)

Non-baseball but no less important
I am getting too old for this shit – late nights, early mornings
Thursday night I ventured to 7th Street Entry (the small club within First Avenue) to see Ezra Furman & The Harpoons. I have seen this band a few times now and each time I get reminded how much I love their live show. It’s funny, loud, rocking, twangy, twitchy, twirly, hell-all those other “T” words you can think of.

For serious though, you should check out his music. Their sound can best be described as a blend between Violent Femmes and Vampire Weekend with the story and writings of Tom Waits.

I stood in line and it wasn’t too bad
So, I have a short attention span. Duh, I knew that. However, I still met up with Jolene and joined a group of awesome chicks waiting in line on Friday for the Travis concert at the Fine Line Music Café. One hour waiting outside, one hour waiting inside, one opening band and one spot in the front row. It was awesome!

Music of the Day – Saw them in concert Edition

Ezra Furman & The Harpoons – Take Off Your Sunglasses

I want you to know/Won’t let you down/No I can’t let go/And I want you to see/Every day I wear my heart on my sleeve

2009-04-14T13:10:00.006-05:00

Twitter-whore
Yeah, I said it. I am a twitter-whore. I love that sassy little 140-character tool to express my joys, sorrows, angers, and love through. Deal with it!

click to read the tweets

(you can still follow me at baseballipgloss)

My game notes
* Last night Ames and I finally clicked with a few of the other Season Ticket Holders in our area. The mom and little girl next to me, the couple next to Amy and the bald dude in front of me. I do think the Bald Dude In Front Of Me was more amused by our shenanigans and disgust over jelly bean flavors though.

* The group of four ladies behind us (who are not of the Season Ticket Holder posse) spent the entire game NOT watching the game and not speaking one word of “baseball.” Instead we listened to them make birthday plans, talk about boyfriends, cellphone pictures, and drinking antics. I get it, I get it. You don’t have to be INTO baseball to go to a game BUT you do have to STFU if you are sitting by me. At one point I wanted to wing by brand new clipboard over my head to them. Dear Four Ladies Sitting Behind Me, talk quieter.

Clipboard Decoration Contest
I finally sucked up my vanity and am now using an official Baseball Scorecard Keeping Clipboard.

This is where I need a bedazzler. I need to make this plain boring clipboard to be something of the Awesome-Nature. So, what should I sticker the back up with? Led Zeppelin logos? A Twins logo? David Cook (ha!)? Danny Tanner? I need ideas.

Non-baseball but no less important

Yup, to all you naysayers - Sold Out. Dude sold out the Mystic Lake Showroom. Yeah, I know it still isn’t as cool as The Garden or something but still. I’ll be there. Will any of you?

Words of Wisdom: If you are in a car on a first date with a dude and he has the country music station playing, just start crying and whip out a death metal CD that you are conveniently carrying in your bag.

Music of the Day – a different American Idol for once
Michael Johns from Season 7 just released a new single on iTunes. It’s awesome! Y’all should go buy it! Ann (annagain66) I am looking at you! You’ll love it!

Michael Johns – Heart on my sleeve

They call me hell/They call me Stacey/They call me her/They call me Jane/That’s not my name

2009-04-07T17:00:00.003-05:00

Lookee what we have here! The 2009 Baseball Season is officially underway.

Home Opener is always a tough game to be a tried and true fan at. You may be wondering “WTF Jen? It’s the perfect game to show your baseballness.”

Wait, my friend. Let me explain. You see, I am surrounded by drunk people in a packed stadium (48,000), shiny new uniforms, cherry red caps, montages, countdowns, big flags, goosebumps, beer, foam fingers, tacky signs, highlighted hair, couples making out, cameras, dome dogs, cellphones, people waving at their friends trying to show where they are sitting, Twitterers (okay, that was all me), the high pitched Peanuts Cracker Jacks vendor, beer, rosters, stats, and a game. That’s a lot going on. It’s hard to buckle down and really focus on the ins and outs of the game. So, tonight…tonight is when I can be a baseball watching/recording machine. Last night was like a giant montage set to catchy Top 40 music.

The unveiling of the 2008 Season Ticket Bonus Gift
Last year when the season tickets were purchased our dealer (Snorris) got this framed photo as a thank you gift (or something along those lines.)

He promptly stated that he couldn’t have the picture at his desk because it would “be gay” (his words, not mine.) He gave it to Amy and I, which we share with as joint custody. Last season when Cuddy got hurt and was out we had to find a replacement. Me being me I decided to replace Cuddyer with David Cook until either Cuddy got better or David Cook pulled a hammy. Henceforth this photo being at my desk for most of the fall, winter and spring. As we all know, Cuddy is back in the line-up so it is time to retire David Cook and bring Cuddy back! Here’s the official unveiling.

In which I am a lazy S.O.B.
I really love the spot our season ticket seats are because:
* I don’t have to walk all the way to the back of the Metrodome for our gate.
* Only four rows to walk up
* Restrooms right outside our section
* Marnie (from FSN) stands in our stairway to film segments
* Wally the mother fucking Beerman

Baseball music of note
Thanks to anonymous for sending me this link via a comment. Oh and now that song is stuck in my head so super thanks for that.
Let’s get Denarded

Music of the Day
Whilst Those Girls were bummed they missed the Morrissey concert (which I was too) I was even more bummed about missing the Ting Tings. If you haven’t checked them out DO IT! They are catchy and danceable. Who doesn’t like dancing? No one, that’s who. No. One.

The Ting Tings – That’s Not My Name

In the midnight hour/She cried more more more/With a rebel yell/She cried more more more

2009-04-06T09:19:00.001-05:00

Happy Home Opener!

Happy Last Season in the Metrodome!

Happy Monday (son of a bitch)!

Happy 30 degree weather (next year you pansies will be freezing your you-know-whats off)!

Happy Francisco “F-Bomb” Liriano Starting Pitcher Day!

One of Those Girls said it best via Twitter: It just occurred to me that this will be my last home opener ever that will be budget-friendly and warm/dry

True-that!

Don't forget to catch me on Twitter
http://twitter.com/baseballipgloss

My hopes for 2009
* A winning season
* New music in the Dome (last year they upped it by including Vampire Weekend and The Fratellis)
* Winning at least one game of Twingo – that sassy bitch of a game gets me EVERYTIME!
* Not to get beaned by a foul ball
* Bring more of my own food (because, if it wasn’t for beer the food in the Dome would suck)
* Being in the Hormel Hotdog Row of Fame (‘cause you can be a wiener winner)

Warning to new readers of this blog
* Sometimes I swear, a lot
* Sometimes I post a Swear Count (American-English: 2 , British English:1)
* Sometimes I am irrational (I hate dolphins, nature and deer)
* Occasionally I rant
* Often I blog about music (and David Cook – shuddup)
* I don’t use my own stats because I can’t be arsed to figure that stuff out. I watch baseball for enjoyment not math.

Let’s look back, shall we?
Home Opener 2008 – And the signs said, the words of the prophets/Are written on the subway walls/And tenement halls/And whispered in the sounds of silence

Notable notes from that blog entry:
* On March 31, 2008 my blog counter was at 9,223 hits. This year: 29,814 hits. Someone out there really loves me…and my swearing.
* It was freaking snowing!
* We sat in the highest spot in the Metrodome. I kid you not.

Music of the Day – Home Opener Edition
To those of you who would assume (when you assume you make an ass out of “u” and “me”) that I would use a David Cook song as the 2009 Home Opener Music of the Day I say to you “You got lucky, I almost did!”

Billy Idol – Rebel Yell (acoustic)
(This is Lucy’s newest song that she’s learning)

So I’ll let you go, I’ll set you free/And when you’ve seen what you need to see

2009-04-04T22:47:00.008-05:00

I have been tossing around this idea for a while now. I subject my friends and co-workers to listening to me talk about it all the time.

Here it is…

Each team up to bat should get a new position player called “Defense”. This player would stand in a marked spot on the foul line between 1st Base and Right Field. Once his teammate (the batter) makes contact with the ball the Defense is allowed to run onto the field and “interfere” with play. The Defense would not be allowed to mess with the pitcher or catcher. He also is unable to touch the ball at any time. I am still working out the logistics of the Defense being able to tackle a fielder. I like the idea but then protection/pads/gear come in play.

SO, that’s what goes on in my vodka soaked brain.

Non-baseball but no less important
Saturday’s Alright For Drinking with Co-workers
Last weekend the crème de la crème of my office went to listen to another co-worker’s band play at this bar (wheeee!) The band (The Pearl) covered music all across the board: Motley Crue, Blondie, Tom Petty, Foo Fighters, Pink, Violent Femmes, and some country songs that I used for “potty-break” time. First best part is having photographic evidence to use if need be. Second best part is my co-worker and partner-in-cubicle-crime Steph hitting the stage to play wicked tambourine on the Violent Femme’s “Blister in the Sun”.

My eye on the very far left.

Bestill my Fangirling Heart
David Cook at Mystic Lake Casino
Two guesses at who is going to be at the show?
And if you need the second guess you fail as a loyal blog reader!

(By the way, this isn’t the Mystic Lake poster…obviously.)

Music of the Day – In Other David Cook News…Edition
This is the music video for his new single. You better freakin’ watch it because I will be quizzing you later!
David Cook – Come Back to Me

Do you like American music/I like American music/Don’t you like American music too, baby

2009-04-01T10:33:00.004-05:00

I am fast approaching the 30,000 hit mark which is A LOT considering the past few months have been boring and/or full of David Cook fangirling.

5 days until the home opener

Opening Day Festivities
Breakfast on the Plaza!
Opening Day Rally at the IDS (noon) – which rocks because I work in that building!

Stay tuned for a new rule/position I want added to the official MLB rules.

Non-baseball but no less important

Katy Perry concert
It was a 15+ concert so we connoisseurs of all things booze related were stuck upstairs drinking our giant bottles of beer. The show was good, the band overwhelmed Katy Perry’s vocals a lot, and I danced.

Reason 4,398 that I should never be a parent
Lucy was scared the other night because she thought she saw Spiderman in our chimney. I told her “Don’t worry. Spiderman comes through windows.” After Stacy got done giving me the ‘I can’t believe you just told my 3 yr old daughter that Spiderman watches her from the windows’ –look I amended my statement by saying “Lucy, Spiderman is in New York right now.” THIS is why I don’t have kids. I don’t have time to make my lies plausible.

Embracing my Inner-Geek
Yesterday I found out that David Cook is going to be playing a concert at Mystic Lake Casino (right here in Minnesota). I called up my gamblin’ friends and asked them to “see what they could do” for getting tickets. One friend responded with “what’s in it for me.” Here’s my bribe:

A Taun-Taun full of vodka so when they cut its stomach open and crawl inside to keep from freezing the vodka would gush out and they could drink it until they felt warm and sleepy. (Star Wars reference, folks.)

Okay, so let’s just squee for a moment over the fact that David Cook will have a concert in Minnesota. Squee! Oh, alas it is at a casino about an hour outside of The City and that casino has a No Booze policy. Don’t worry, I have flasks and I am NOT afraid to use them.

Music of the Day – I had a drunken remix of this song sung to me Saturday night Edition
Violent Femmes – American Music

You look pretty in your fancy dress/But I detect unhappiness/You never speak so I have to guess

2009-03-23T19:45:00.006-05:00

Here’s the deal…I suck at baseball blogging when there isn’t a lot of baseball to watch. I don’t have gameday or any fancy radio stations to catch the games so I am flying blind here folks. I do promise that I’ll be back in action now that things are happening. Girl scouts oath!

Here are some baseball related updates:

* I started a baseball Twitter that if you want to follow during games/baseball things you can. I can’t guarantee I will be all that sober during the Twittering of stuff (you know since baseball = beer.)

http://twitter.com/baseballipgloss

* Home Opener tickets have been purchased and the partial season ticket package is on its way to me as I type this.

* Next Sunday I will be participating in A League of Their Own’s Baseball Roundtable. I have to do a little studying up so I can represent well/accurately/non-stuttering (oh, and I have practice not stuttering. Yup.)

Kinda Baseball-ish
Hey, any East Coast blog readers out there?
I am heading to Maryland, Pennsylvania, Delaware, and maybe Virginia this summer and I need ideas of things to do. My list already contains a Baltimore Orioles game (the Royals are in town) and a minor league team in Delaware. (Also includes Delaware State Fair, Hershey, ocean time, a scenic drive somewhere, and probably shenanigans but I digress.)

Non-baseball but no less important
Zeppelin The Dog Update

Further proof that you can take the dog out of the ghetto but you can't take the ghetto out of the dog.

Music of the Day – Feeding my Jack White Obsession Edition
Raconteurs – Old Enough

So I won’t hesitate no more, no more/It cannot wait, I’m sure/There’s no need to complicate

2009-03-10T13:20:00.003-05:00

Home again Home again – Jiggity Jig
We gotta give mad props and thanks to Ames for ditching her bookclub early to purchase Home Opener tickets for the posse. (I was in Duluth seeing David Archuleta in concert – details below.) I will be there for the Last Home Opener in The Metrodome! Will you?

27 and Counting
27 days until home opener. This off-season was pretty damn boring. I mean, if it wasn’t for A-Rod’s Steroid bust there would have been nothing to talk about. (I know, I know…that is inaccurate but it’s what I am going with.)

WWBJD (What Would Baby Jesus Do)
Looks like the talk around town is that Joe Mauer may not be as healthy as we (meaning “they”) assumed. Whoops.

Non-baseball but no less important

Moment of Truth
Hi, my name is Jen and I saw David Archuleta in concert.

Saturday night I took Olivia (age 12) to see him perform at a sold-out DECC concert hall. In case you, the baseball blog readers, don’t know who the fuck David Archuleta is let me clarify – he’s the runner up from last year’s American Idol.

There is one bit of detail from the show I wanted to share with you. You see, I feel like I am the ONLY person in the world that thinks perving out on a barely 18-year old guy is kind of gross. Especially when I think of that 18-year old as a Fraggle Rock character. There were two grown, married women behind me who attended the concert with their husbands (no children). I may have started off feeling bitchy towards them because they were saying mean things about David Cook (my American Idol crush, if you haven’t ever read my blog before) but here’s an example of their conversation that proves they are nutter-butters:

Grown Married Woman#1: “He’s 18 so it is okay that I find him attractive.”
Me (inside my head): “Whatever it takes to get you through relationship counseling.”
Grown Married Woman#2: “He really wears those jeans well.”
Me (inside AND outside my head): “Ew.”
Grown Married Woman#1: “He fills them out almost too well.”
Me (inside my head): “Jen! Don’t look. Don’t look at what they are talking about. For the LOVE OF GOD DON’T LOOK!”
Grown Married Woman#2: “I KNOW! He’s packing isn’t he?”
Me (inside my head): “I am gonna throw up.”
Grown Married Woman#1: “That’s gonna make some lucky girl very happy, if you know what I mean.”
Me (inside my head): “OR a lucky boy. What? AND yes we all know what you mean.”

For the record I DID LOOK because I am a horrible human-being who doesn’t listen to the voice inside her head and I am ashamed and sorry and embarrassed and now must take up a religion that will cure the sins inside my heart. God Damn.

Concert Calendar - Wishlist
Here are all the shows that I am interested in attending. Alas, all these shows cost $ so I am cutting down to the ones I really, really want to see AND that aren’t on a night with previously made plans. Oh, and to U2 and NIN/Jane’s Addiction – thanks a-fucking-lot for skipping the Twins Cities on your tour. Haven’t we been good to you? Haven’t we??? (Although U2 may extend tour and hit us up a later date.)

3/13 The Honeydogs CD Release Show @ First Ave
3/14 Andrew Dice Clay @ Myth
3/22 Black Label Society @ Myth
3/24 Katy Perry @ First Ave (attending)
3/30 Bob Mould @ Varsity Theater
4/6 The Ting Tings @ Varsity Theater
4/6 Lez Zeppelin @ Fine Line Music Café
4/6 Morrissey @ State Theater
4/7 Nickelback @ Target Center (may attend much to my chagrin)
4/12 Mates of State @ Varsity Theater
4/13 All American Rejects @ Myth
4/14 Kris Kristofferson @ Pantages Theater
4/16 Ezra Furman & The Harpoons @ 7th Street Entry (attending)
4/17 Travis @ Fine Line (attending)
4/18 Chris Cornell
4/21 Peter Bjorn and John @ Fine Line
4/25 M. Ward @ First Ave
4/25 Rocco Deluca & The Burden @ Fine Line
4/26 Neko Case @ State Theater
4/28 Franz Ferdinand @ First Ave
5/2 Queensryche @ Myth
5/3 Leonard Cohen @ Orpheum Theater
5/11 The Kills @ First Ave

Album Releases Today
Kelly Clarkson – All I Ever Wanted (I am soooo getting this one)
Chris Cornell – Scream
Handsome Furs – Face Control
Taylor Hicks – The Distance (Not. Gonna. Happen.)
New Found Glory – Not Without a Fight
Madeleine Peyroux – Bare Bones
Razorlight – Slipaway Fires (love these guys!)

Music of the Day – Just saw this fraggle rock in concert Edition

David Archuleta – I’m Yours

Melmak, is nothing but worse for cats/Melmak, is really no place for cats

2009-03-05T20:34:00.005-06:00

I know the upcoming season will be filled with talk of the new Twins stadium (Target Field) and look-backs on the Metrodome. I know the Dome isn’t as epic as Yankees Stadium but to me it houses all my memories of baseball (except that one roadtrip to Kauffman Stadium.) Seriously, all my baseball memories revolve around the blue plastic seats, bright green turf, dingy grey roof, lights, railings, steps, cup holders (running into them with my shins), crazy revolving doors with air-pressure, cement, dome dogs, losing the ball in the roof, dugout, unprotected bullpens, homerun porch, my favorite seats under the Oliva banner, flasks, 31 rows of pain, those weird seats in the “V” section on lower level (left field/third base line), realizing the turf isn’t that cool up close (kind of gross when you think about it)…man, the list could go on and on. This is the LAST SEASON IN THE METRODOME!

Spring Training is upon us
I will (as Baby Jesus is our witness) start blogging spring training! Girl Scouts honor (not that I was ever a girl scout.)

Kind of baseball-related
In August I am going to be on the East Coast (mostly the Pennsylvania/Maryland area) for a real vacation. I have a couple things on the schedule (including a music festival) but I also want to check out some non-Twins baseball. I am going to try and score tickets for the Orioles and/or The Nationals.

Non-baseball but no less important

I bought the new U2 CD at Target (yup, you can see the sticker right there). I am excited to give it a complete listening to. There are a lot of a.) U2 haters and/or b.) New U2 music doubters (who are fans but just like the “classic” U2 styling’s.) To you all I say, shame on you! This band has given us 30 years of epic (and some not-so-epic) musical moments. The least we can do is support their new stuff and give it a chance. Hell, you don’t have to like it/buy it/listen to it BUT you do have to shut her yap if all you are doing is talking about how they are sell-outs. Sell out this! *insert rude hand gesture* Yes, I am passionate about more than baseball.

You can go your own way (go your own way)
I saw Fleetwood Mac and it was pretty epic! I mean, the crowd was a little underwhelming BUT the music more than made up for it (as did the beers, dancing, twirling, and tambourine hands).

You know the tendency of my Monday Night Happy Hour Crew for flashing The Shocker in every photo that they can...Exhibit C

I don't know why but I have been on a Corona kick lately. Maybe because it reminds me of summer (and being drunk in Mexico when I was 18)

Music of the Day – Memory Lane Edition
Last weekend I pretty much fangirled (probably harder than I fangirl David Cook) because I caught a couple episodes of ALF on TV. Yes, ALF, as in the cat-eating alien!

Alf Theme

Now, I’ve heard there was a secret chord/That David played and it pleased the Lord/But you don’t really care for music do you?

2009-02-25T14:31:00.003-06:00

Ah, Those Girls (well, one of them) is currently in Flo-rida to celebrate the kick-off of the Minnesota Twins 2009 Baseball season. I am anxiously following her Twitter to keep updated on all the happenings (and gossip.) No pressure girl!

Ticket Info
Well, single game tickets go on sale at noon on Saturday, March 7. Alas, I will not be able to man the phone and computer to score tickets for my usual Home Opener Posse. I will be heading to Duluth, MN in my Jeep with a 12-year old going to see David freaking Archuleta (runner-up to last year’s American Idol.) Yeah…go ahead, bring on the mocking!

Bad News Bears…er, Twins
Bonsor needs surgery

Don’t forget, I Twitter!
You can check out my twitter here: http://twitter.com/parkavepirate
If I find that I do a lot of baseball Twittering at games I will create a new baseball-centric one. We’ll see how the first few weeks go. I am sure my “normal” Twitter people won’t want to read:

Dome Dog!
Beer me, Wally the Beer Man!
Where’s Marnie?
TWINGO was his name-o
Everyone loves Joe Mauer, he’s the hometown hero

Non-baseball but no less important

Randomly Random
*I saw a handful of people walking around with ash crosses on their foreheads. My natural instinct is to tap their arms and tell them they have a little schmutz on their face. My other instinct is to hiss and cover my eyes. I am trying to avoid both of those reactions.

*Zeppelin The Dog is going to puppy training classes at this frou-frou pet store in a bourgeois neighborhood. I need to make sure Zeppelin The Dog gets his AC/DC collar before the first class so we can rock it hardcore style! No fancy frills for us! We are representin’ SOUTHSIIIIIIDE. (Throws up my gang sign.)

*Spring Training (baseball for those who don’t know) starts tonight for the Minnesota Twins. First pitch at 6:05 p.m. against Boston. Baseball fever is HERE!

*I booked the hotel room in Duluth, MN (for when I take Olivia to see David Archuleta) and it is right next to the tattoo place that K-spra got hers at (during our drunken revelry.) Hmm…I wonder if it would be too “After School Special” if I brought Olivia there to learn about the perils of tattoos whilst I get one.

Self-Reminder: Upcoming Events
2/27 – EV’s half birthday (yeah, he celebrates half birthdays)
2/27 – Joel McHale
3/3 – Fleetwood Mac
3/7 – David Archuleta *sigh*
3/17 – Epic St. Paddy’s Day Celebration
3/24 – Katy Perry
3/28 – Co-workers band
4/17 – Travis
4/27 – Sushi class with mom
5/1 – My 30th Birthday (Oh, Lord love a duck)

Music of the Day – Leonard Cohen Edition
I know that everyone loves Jeff Buckley’s rendition of “Hallelujah” but my favorite is the original by Leonard Cohen. His raspy (whiskey and cigarette) voice really strikes a chord on the song. Damien Rice also does a good version.

Thanks to Hassertime I have a working link if you want to check out Leonard Cohen. I mean, you obviously do.

Leonard Cohen – Hallelujah

Night is falling everywhere/Rockets hit the fun fair/Satan loves the bomb-scare but he won’t scare you

2009-02-21T22:23:00.007-06:00

New Twin - Crede
I got a text late last night (okay, it was 10:30 p.m. BUT that’s late when you start drinking at 4:00 p.m.) from one of Those Girls saying that the Twins signed Crede. Wow, we did one thing this offseason. Welcome to Minnesota Mr. Crede. We are a loyal but fickle bunch of fans. I already predict his little banner will say something like Crede’s Crew and that will make me roll my eyes. In the words of the Ramones (This business is killing me) “You can’t please all the people all the time.”

Non-baseball but no less important

Kat Von D is my new Girl-Crush

*On Wednesday I stood in line amongst the tattooed and pierced coolness of Minneapolis to have my brand spanking new Kat Von D book autographed. (In case you don’t know who she is: she’s a tattoo artist, has the show L.A. Ink, and is dating Nikki Sixx.
*Nothing like being the ONLY person in a line (of hundreds) wearing dress pants and a suitcoat. Hey, I had to skip out on a meeting to go wait in line.
*I had a crossdresser behind me who spoke on her phone the whole time about make-up and jerky boyfriends. I had a guy in front of me that had those earlobe gauge peircings (the big plugs in his ears) that were so big (that’swhatshesaid) that I wanted to ask if I could put my finger through it. Don’t know why.
*Kat Von D and I had a brief conversation that went like this:
Kat: Hey, are you on your lunch break?
Me: No but I am skipping a meeting
Kat: Oh, is it an important one?
Me: *giggle* Haaa…um? *giggle*
Kat: Just tell me it was important so I feel cool
Me (gushing): Yes, it was very important *giggle*
Kat: Thanks for stopping by. It was nice meeting you.
Me: *giggle* Yeah, nice meeting YOU! Thank you!

*Yep, I fangirled pretty damn hard. I didn’t expect the nervous giggles to hit me but I think I pulled it off.

Dr. Feelgood
I rocked to Motley Crue on Wednesday night and THEY WERE AWESOME! My review of that concert can best be summed up via my Twitters:
*All the opening bands are done. AC/DC’s Hells Bells playing whilst we wait for Motley Crue.
*Motley Crue wants you to shout shout shout shout at the devil. Are you? I am.
*Beer run whilst guitar solo intro.
*Motley Crue and Elvis. Covering Jailhouse Rock.
*Tommy Lee’s dad was born in St. Paul, MN.
*According to Motley Crue, I am the mother fucker of the year. Huh.
*Don’t go away mad, just go away – per the Crue.
*Motley Crue: same old situation, same old ball and chain + a fight! Love it!
*Motley Crue wants us to scream, shout, tear up this fucking town. Sorry Mom.
*BTW, that’s Primal Scream!
*Motley Crue thinks that YOU (me) got the looks that kill. Mmm…beer good.
*He’s the one you call Dr. Feelgood. He’s the one that makes it alright. You know what? He does!
*I am on my way Home Sweet Home…well, after this song. Good Night Motley Crue!

Zeppelin The Dog Update
Zepp is 4 months old now!

Music of the Day – New Release Edition
U2 – Get Your Boots On

He’s the one they call Dr. Feelgood/He’s the one that makes ya all right/He’s the one called Dr. Feelgood

2009-02-16T16:15:00.005-06:00

Spring Training is upon us

Morneasuey is everywhere!
I was surfing the net the other day and this ad popped up.

Non-baseball but no less important

First time commenter, long time swearer
The first time EV comments on my blog here it is to call me a lazyass. Thanks EV, love ya too! :)

Zeppelin The Dog

So, Zeppelin “Don’t Sing Me No Stairway to Heaven” The Dog has been with us for a few days now. He’s so chill that I worry he is storing it up to go loco on us later. Nah, he’s too damn cute for that. Hey, you want to read a totally lame-oh recap of Life With Dog?
* Zepp is so rockstar that he hurled in the car just to get rid of the spins (hey, it helps to vom after drinking so much you get the spins)
* I think he likes Motley Crue more than Led Zeppelin. I was standing outside with him yesterday singing “Dr Feelgood” and he really got into it
* I have publicly declared that no t-shirts or clothing-like accessories for Zepp. He has a lot of Street-cred to earn and an “I still live with my parents” t-shirt won’t help. Scarves will be accepted for special occasions
* Black Dog by Led Zeppelin may be cliché but it does fit the best out of all the songs

It had to be done
Since ya’ll are so sick of me fangirling over David Cook I give thee…
Ten Things I Like Better Than David Cook
1. Vodka
2. Frosting
3. Naps
4. Mocking people
5. Happy Hours (notice I made that plural)
6. Black nail polish
7. Getting concert tickets in the mail and holding them close to my heart
8. Lucy singing something ridiculously inappropriate for a 3-year old (Janis Joplin, AC/DC, Steve Miller Band, Katy Perry)
9. Baseball
10. Nyquil

Music of the Day – Gonna see them in concert Edition

Motley Crue – Dr. Feelgood

I am counting on you Lord please don’t let me down/Prove that you love me and buy the next round

2009-02-12T20:53:00.005-06:00

I am an epic fail at baseball blogging this past week. I have a legitimate reason though!!!

1. American Idol Hollywood Week (I am claiming Adam Lambert in the American Idol Drinking Game)
2. I found out the David Archuleta concert I am going to is sold out and I couldn’t stop crying tears of confused shame
3. I got a new puppy! His name is Zeppelin and he’s 13-weeks old.
4. A-Rods very heartfelt and emotional apology made me throw-up in my mouth. (zzzzing!)
5. I am trying to teach Lucy all the words to Janis Joplin’s “Mercedes Benz”
6. I went to the Motocross

Hey Lady Bloggers (and for the few male ones that care)!
Let’s have an activity! Come on! We talk about it all the time. The other baseball bloggers always write about how they have a luncheon and what-not. Let’s gather together and talk baseball! What say you?

Non-baseball but no less important
I gots a rock & roll puppy

Meet Zeppelin! He’s a 13-week old Siberian Husky/Australian Blue Heeler mix. He’s about 27 lbs and was rescued from the Humane Society. He’s fucking adorable, even at 6:30 a.m. when I was standing outside with him in my pajamas telling him to “go potty!”

#2 – David Archuleta concert? WTF Jen?
Wait, you didn’t know that I have tickets to the David Archuleta (runner-up on American Idol Seasno 7) concert in Duluth, MN? Oh, you haven’t been paying attention. The 12-year old that I took to the American Idol concert last year (I acted like I was too cool to go so I said “fine, I’ll take her” but secretly wanted to go) wanted to go to the David Archuleta concert. Being the kind and generous (drunk, snarky, slightly bitchy) soul that I am I said “Why the hell not!” I bought tickets online thinking they were General Admission and the two of us could hang in the back (near the bar). Alas, I didn’t read clearly and have now found myself in possession of two 8th ROW seats to David Archuleta. I am going to die aren’t I? I am going to be mass murdered by tweens. I am going to be a statistic on the nightly news. Hey, maybe I’ll make wildly inappropriate signs to make my heart feel better.

Other non-soul sucking concerts
2/18 – Motley Crue
2/27 – Joel McHale
3/3 – Fleetwood Mac
3/7 – David Archuleta *sigh*
3/24 – Katy Perry
4/7 – Travis
5/3 – Flight of the Conchords

Motocrossing
Elle (elle eh eh) planned a secret outing for us last Saturday night. We ended up at the Motocross Spectacular at the Target Center. The whole idea of flying motorcycles both fascinated me and freaked me out. I kept having scenarios flashing in my brain of motorcycles, helmets or riders flying into the crowd and killing me. I kept saying “I don’t want to die here! I don’t want to be one of those tragic statistics!” Thank baby jesus Elle (elle eh eh) understands my neuroses and declared she would protect me. Once I moved past the irrational fears, I had a blast! There was beer, great people watching, exciting things, cute guys, lots of hairspray, exhaust fumes, tattoos galore and…WALLY THE BEERMAN! Thanks Elle!

Music of the Day – Lucy’s a Rockstar Edition
Here’s Lulu representin’ the 60’s
Mercedes Benz

Pack my bags, walking in the rain/Hear them voices inside my head/Drinking that booze & taking down names

2009-02-02T09:54:00.005-06:00

Let’s talk sports
There was a big football game yesterday, huh.
* I like the hype and history around the super bowl but 12 hours of football is kind of long for a newbie like me.
* I tuned in early to mock Al Roker interviewing “celebs” on the red carpet.
* I caught Matt Lauer’s interview with President Obama (I won’t ever get tired of typing that).
* I watched Jennifer Hudson sing the anthem (and got into an argument with my aunt about if it was a pre-recorded track or not).
* I flipped between the game and the Puppy Bowl.
* I chuckled Bruce Springsteen’s sliding crotch shot during the half-time concert.
* I cheered for the Cardinals and Fitzgerald.
* I cheered for the Steelers (since 90% of the blogs I read are Steelers fans.)
* I was super excited for The Office.
* I went to bed.

Big football day huh?

Uh oh, it’s hard to be the Golden Boy
Phelps admits ‘bad judgment’ after marijuana-pipe photo
Wow, the hype around this is kind of shocking. It is like children everywhere are finding out there really isn’t a tooth fairy or something. Come on, kid smoked pot. How many of our past presidents were outed for smoking pot? I am not saying that it’s okay and all that jazz but I am sure there are many other things to be up-in-arms about. (Oh and I understand that he’s a role model and what not BUT if the press didn’t go crazy with printing and disceting this photos would the children even find out? Yeah…probably not.)

Twins Talk
The new commercial for Twins Territory aired during the Super Bowl. I kind of fangirled it. What can I say, these commercials rock my sox.
“Trucks” First of reportedly four commercials to air this season

Tickets! Who needs tickets?
Ames and I are proud holders of 2009 Season Tickets (splitting a package.) We’ll be back in our same spot – Section 204, row 4. I look forward to seeing Cosby Sweater Geek, Giant Headphones Guy, Hair Scrunchie Chick, Broken Leg Man (hopefully that has healed up), Chatty McChatterson, and now us girls! Weeeee!

Non-baseball but no less important
Scott Weiland owns my soul!
I saw Scott Weiland in concert on Saturday night. You know Scott Weiland, of Stone Temple Pilots and Velvet Revolver fame. A big thanks to EV for scoring us third row tickets!!! There once was a time when I wasn’t such a seat-whore (that’swhatsehsaid) and didn’t care where I sat but now…now that has all changed! (12th row for American Idol, 5th row for AC/DC, 8th row for David Archuleta, 3rd row for Scott Weiland.)
Where: The concert was held in this small theater which gave a really intimate setting for the show. I was a little drunkenly disappointed to see the place wasn’t very full. I mean, it’s Scott fucking Weiland!?!?!?!
Who: The crowd was a mix of old rocker dudes, young white ‘burban kids, hipsters, retired rock & roll couples and The Cougars. The cougars were a little scary because I have actually never witnessed a pack of cougars in full rock glory before. I tried to refrain from being too catty in front of EV (be thankful.)
Set List: We got to hear Vaseline and Interstate Love Song (in which I fangirled at.) He played a lot of new stuff including his cover of Bowie’s Fame.

Music of the Day
Scott Weiland – Paralysis

They’re all in my backyard, them old cars/I love everyone that I get/Mixing gasoline with NASCAR dreams

2009-01-27T13:23:00.002-06:00

Welcome Wagon
New(ish) blog - Twin Cities Beer & Baseball

Twins Fest or Bust
Those Girls, Twins Sisters & K-Bro wrote nice blogs about being at Twins Fest. Alas, I have not much to wax poetic about. I mean, y’all have met me before…I swear and mock.

Friday evening I braved the frigid temps and met up with Those Girls at the Metrodome. I tried to keep forcing myself to be heartfelt and reminiscent about being at the Twins Fest in The Dome. Here are my thoughts on Twins Fest:

* Those Girls are actually funnier in person than in their blog (I know, it’s hard to believe!)
* I “bought” my first baseball card. I put “bough” in quotation marks because I paid $1 to play a dice game and won a Torii Hunter card. Pretty sweet.
* Bobby Korecky Drinking Game! I just made one up!
* I bought Obama trading cards which Lucy promptly took ownership of.
* We listened to Casilla do an interview in the Diversity Section (which inspired some mocking.) I totally “That’s What She Said-ed” him during the interview (under my breath.)
* We had the World’s Worst Mini Donuts. They really broke my heart.

Non-Baseball but no less important

This is me Fangirling
Eh, I probably won’t be seeing David Cook on his tour but I will be seeing this guy!

I bought tickets to see Joel McHale in Minneapolis! I fangirl Joel McHale and The Soup pretty hardcore.

So, a funny thing happened while I was at the bar (story of my life) – Celebrity Story Ahead!
I am just going to say it out loud… I drank A LOT last night at happy hour. I have a new theory that happy hour(s) shouldn’t last longer than an average work day. I am just saying…

Anyways, during my drunkenness last night one of my peeps received a text message saying that Harrison Ford was drinking in the hotel bar across the street. Of course, I got really excited and wanted to go see Hans Solo but we were drinking and eating and couldn’t be bothered to actually leave our barstools. Conversation flowed about Hans and Calista Flockhart (who we imagined to be the size of our wine goblet stems.) The next text that came from our Hans Solo sighter said that Harrison was in town with his band. Cue shocked expressions.

Hans Solo was in a band? Since when? Why hadn’t I heard that before? I love actors who think they can sing (there’s actually too many to name here.)

I spent the rest of the night obsessing about Hans Solo being so close to me and yet so far. I went to bed (passed out, whatever) last night with thoughts of a singing Hans Solo flying through my head. I imagined his band playing thrasher metal music.

Imagine my surprise this morning when I hungoverly flipped through the entertainment section to see an announcement of Kevin Costner being in town for a tour stop with his band. KEVIN COSTNER! For a brief moment I envisioned seeing Hans Solo at one bar and then hurrying to another to see Robin Hood play. THEN IT HIT ME! During all the drunken text messages wires were crossed. Actually, wires weren’t crossed…some drunken dude couldn’t tell his epic older gentlemen apart and was calling Kevin Costner Harrison Ford. WTF Drunk Dude, WFT? So, I am sad to report that there isn’t a Hans Solo concert tonight; you will have to settle for a Kevin Costner gig.

Kevin Costner & Modern West
This line from the article made me laugh my ass off (lmao, if you will):
Come to see Costner channel his inner John Cougar Mellencamp; stay for the cougars prowling the stage looking to bite off a hunk of Robin Hood.

Seriously, I can’t make this shit up!

In conclusion: My church has a neon sign, the pews are clustered together around a scarred counter top, and the pastor “is quick with a joke or to light up your smoke”.

Also in conclusion: It is never fun to skip, frolic, and twirl into your house late at night after many hours of drinking and find your dear sweet auntie sitting there watching and silently judging you. Oh, also not as funny to wake up so horribly hung-over the next day and the first human interaction you have is Stacy singing Poison’s “Every Rose Has a Thorn”.

Music of the Day – OMG Can you Believe Kevin Costner sings Edition
Kevin Costner & Modern West – Backyard

It is the distant future/The year 2000/We are robots/The world is very different

2009-01-23T09:26:00.005-06:00

Twins Fest Weekend!
Be there or be…square? Nah, let’s be honest: the only reason I am going is to people watch and find the 2009 Minnesota Twins Baseball Spirit.

Headlines
Twins could boast 18 Classic players: Club leads Majors with most players on provisional rosters
(aka: boring headline)

Kubel, Twins reach deal in principal: two-year contract with option for third yet to be confirmed

Who’s on Third? (And no that’s not a lame attempt to start that comedy bit)
No, really? Who is going to be our Third base player?
Third base remains Minnesota mystery

What the other blogs are saying

If you haven’t done so yet, go check out Out of Write-Field and sign your baseball blog up (if you have one)

Oh, It’s Those Girls have a nice breakdown of what is happening this weekend at Twinsfest. They’ll help you decide which day you should check it out.

Nick & Nick’s blog is “Charting the Rounds” and breaking down our competition.

K-Bro’s blog is making me giggle with examples of bad grammar in the world of baseball

Kevin Slowey is blogging about his time on the Twins Caravan

Non-baseball but no less important

New Concerts Announced (of a non-David Cook variety)
Morrissey, Madeleine Peyroux, Neko Case, Gordon Lightfoot and Boyz II Men

Don’t fuck around with cupcakes
I would be really disappointed if someone sent me a cupcake-in-bloom flower arrangement. They really do look like cupcakes but in fact are only just flowers. It would be like serving a bottle of Jack Daniels full of iced-tea: disappointing and unfulfilling and wrong. See what I mean?

I love cupcakes.

Things that make me ever-so-happy
I am sure you have all seen the site with these posters but here are three of my favorite:

ShamWow! I loves me the ShamWow guy!!! The giant headset, Ritalin-needing energy, and general quirkiness.

And I ran…ran so far away…Flock of Seagulls have given us so much!

You got Rick-Rolled bitch!

Music of the Day
Flight of the Conchords – The Robot Song

A break in our regularly scheduled baseball blogging

2009-01-20T16:12:00.013-06:00

Last night I went to the AC/DC concert at the Xcel Center in St. Paul. Thanks to It’s Pat! for getting us sweet tickets – row 5 (which was actually the 4th row) two people in from the catwalk. Now, I am an AC/DC fan as much as the next person but seeing them live for the first time ever really struck me as what rock really is all about. A stadium full of people playing air-guitar, singing along, flashing the rock salute and general drunken camaraderie. There was high-fiving of Brian Johnson and sweat spraying from Angus Young. All in all…a classic rock concert.

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

She was a fast machine/She kept her motor clean/She was the fastest damn woman that I ever seen

2009-01-19T12:52:00.002-06:00

Head’s Up
Twins announce ticket changes for ’09 – single game tickets on sale March 7
This means that there will be no long lines at Twins Fest for purchasing tickets.

Kubel, Guerrier file for arbitration

Twins focus on relievers Brandon Lyon, Eric Gagne: Club pursuing relievers for setup role behind closer Nathan

Twist Fest
The schedule is up! Okay, who’s going when?

Non-baseball but no less important

For those about to rock, we salute you
Well, I am about to rock in approximately…7 hours. Tonight I will be heading to see AC/DC with an old co-worker (old as in former, not old as in a billion years old.) Not only am I going to be in the presence of Class Rock Royalty I will be in the 5th row. Yup, I finally scored sweet seats to a rock concert. I had been bitching and moaning to anyone who would listen that the closest I have been in a stadium concert was the American Idol concert. Now, don’t get me wrong...I loved the American Idol concert *cough*DavidCook*cough* but in order to have street-cred I needed a true Rock and Roll experience with floor seats. Tonight, I will be vindicated.

Speaking of David Cook
I don’t know what this says about me but I had a dream (nee, Nightmare) about a conflict of interest. I dreamt that David Cook had a concert in Minneapolis on the same night as the Minnesota Twins Home Opener. I am guessing that 99.9% of my blog readers are going: "What’s the problem? Obviously you would be going to the baseball game. I mean you have a freaking baseball blog.” Whilst, the other 5% scoff at the thought of choosing baseball over David Cook. What would I do?

Although…I do have a grand plan (or an evil plan) in motion to trick all my friends into going to the David Cook concert with me. I would say “Hey, do you want to go see Billy Idol?” They would all go “Yes, for sure. We loves us some Rebel Yell.” Then I would chuckle inside my head. When they realize that they are at a David Cook concert I would go “Booyah! I punked you Son! Ya’ll can suck it with your David Cook hatin’!” Yeah I think I carried it too far, even in my head. By the way, my friends are probably a lot smarter than I give them credit for so they would double check all facts before agreeing to go. Commie bastards.

Randomly Random
Look at the ice formation which was found in a window of the house?

Tee hee hee, I am giggling like a 12-year old boy right now

Music of the Day – Concert experience Edition
AC/DC – You shook me all night

If you think it’s easy doin’ one night stands/Try playin’ in a rock roll band/It’s a long way to the top

2009-01-14T15:17:00.002-06:00

Bylevin denied Hall of Fame induction, again

Hall of Fame: Rickey Henderson & Jim Hall inducted, Blyleven denied

Non-baseball but no less important

In a few days…
I will be at the Xcel Center listening to pure rock and roll. AC/DC will be in Minneapolis (well, actually St. Paul but let’s just overlook that fact) and I will be in the fifth row. I am going with a former co-worker who I don’t think is prepared for the fangirling that will entail.

Little Honey
I am slowly making my way through Lucinda William’s album “Little Honey.” I think she may be one of the most underappreciated guitar players. I have listened through the album a few times and the songs that really stick out are “Real Love”, “Honey Bee”, and her cover of AC/DC’s “It’s a Long Way to the Top.”

Purple rain, purple rain
Prince has a new website launched: http://www.lotusflow3r.com. Star Tribune is reporting that is the name of one of his three new albums. (One of those albums is rumored to be called MPLSound, recorded at his Paisley Park Studio here in Minnesota.) This site has three tracks up including a cover of “Crimson and Clover. Check it out.

This is American Idol
Let’s just get this disclaimer out of the way right now:
Hello, my name is Jen and I will be watching American Idol this season. I understand that in the past I never watched or blogged about it so this may be a little disturbing. Be prepared for snark/swearing/drinking/half-assed recaps.

·The whole household was sucked into American Idol last night.
·I gotta say I like Kara (the new judge). I was prepared to not like her but...she's funny, sassy and fights back. You go girl! *Snap!*
·I thought and said some very bad things about the blind guy. I already know I am going to hell so I feel like I don’t have to check my tact at the door.
·I don’t think Lucy understands that there are bad singers out there. I feel like American Idol will help her with that.
·I like Simon when he rolls his eyes.
·Paula’s sunglasses/reading glasses towards the end of the show made my heart hurt.
·It looked a lot warmer in AZ then in Minnesota.
·That “geek” towards the end was fun to watch. His voice was good, not jazz hands fantastic, but good. I like that he intelligently argued back with Simon. I bet we’ll never see him again.

Okay, that’s all I got. Now I must go face my co-workers who opted to watch the new 90210 instead of Idol.

My friends love me and sometimes they listen when I fangirl
Exhibit A:
I received a text message from Ames last night. Now, Ames has to listen to me go “Oh, I love David Cook, he’s awesome.” “Listen to this song.” “Okay, now listen to this song. Wow! Huh?” “I changed your ringtone to Bar-ba-sol now. I like it better than your old Led Zep one.” “Sorry, I didn’t pick up the phone right away because I love your ringtone.” Yeah, poor Ames!

So, she sent me this text last night:
E News just reported that David Cook just broke up with that other idol chick. I am sure you knew but I thought I’d let you know just in case.

Exhibit B:
Another friend (a misinformed one) sent me a text saying:
Dude, that the American Idol guy u love has a song on the new 90210.

After a moment I got another one:
Never mind, it was that little guy that got silver on the show. His song makes me want to be a better person.

I replied:
You mean that facetiously right? You mean his song makes you want to go pick up guys and hold hands.

Their reply made me blush.

Music of the Day – Cover Song Edition

Lucinda Williams – It’s a Long Way to the Top

It’s time for you to prove/Within your ruby shoes/You deserve to smile with no regret/Look at you

2009-01-07T08:37:00.001-06:00

Trading Block
Giambi reaches deal to reunite with A’s
Teixeira to the Yankees (and I grumble a little)

Guess who was listed as one of the Top 10 Female Baseball Bloggers on Blogs.com?
Give up?

ME! Now, imagine me twirling around with jazz hands. That’s how excited I am.

Thanks to guest blogger on Blogs.com, Metsgrrl for listing me!

Top 10 Favorite Female Baseball Bloggers
Babes Love Baseball
Center Field
Church of Baseball
Her Rays!
Lipgloss & Baseball – MEEEE!
Marinerds, ect
Oh, it’s THOSE Girls Baseball Blog
Roar of the Tigers
We’ve Got Heart
Got MILB?

I even get a badge! (It’s official, I am a dork)

Twinsfest!
January 23 – 25
I may be hitting this up this year – if for no other reason than to cause shenanigans with one of Those Girls.
Are you going? Maybe we need a meet-up or something… let’s brainstorm.

Music of the Day – as seen on TV
Since I slept almost all day long yesterday I wasn’t in any shape to be going to bed at a decent hour. I caught Erin McCarley on Letterman last night. A few different people have pointed her out to me but I think seeing her live (well, live-ish) sealed the deal.

Erin McCarley - Pony

And I thought Oedipus, Oedipus, Oedipus, Oedipus/thirty two’s still a goddamn number/thirty two still counts

2009-01-06T13:21:00.004-06:00

Carl Pohlad 1915 - 2009
Now, we may not all have agreed with the way he ran our team but he was still the man behind the Minnesota Twins. Besides owning the Twins he did a lot of great things for the community. This news really hit my radar when I was at happy hour. Unfortunately no one in the Monday Night Happy Hour Crew follows baseball so I had to “phone a friend” (or in this case, text a friend.) Katie from Oh, It’s THOSE Girls and I exchanged a series of texts about this. (This included discussing the tribute video music for the Home-Opener. I suggested LL Cool J but after perusing through his track list I wasn’t able to find anything appropriate.)

Also, how the heck did I miss the hype around Twinsfest. I think I will stop by again this year. I just really enjoy the people watching. Anyone else out there going? Maybe a meet up? Pre-fest beer, during-fest beer, post-fest beer?

Non-baseball but no less important

Fly like an eagle
Foshay Tower basejump on YouTube: It’s Raining Fools
So, I actually heard about this yesterday when a friend was telling me that she saw it and met the actual basejumper himself (before he was arrested.) How did I miss this? I mean, it was early enough in the day that I wasn’t drinking yet.

News video
**The W Hotel in the Foshay gets a big middle finger from us (the Monday Night Happy Hour Crew) for their lack of happy hour specials and the abundance of snotty workers.

She runs all over me
Here’s proof that I will basically let Lucy do whatever she wants. She wanted to give me another tattoo. Although I think it is sweet she wrote “MOM” I don’t think I want that for my next tattoo. (Thanks for the pics, Mel.)

Random commercial of the Day
Slap Chop with Vince (from the Sham Wow craze)
Ames sent me this video yesterday with strict instructions to pay particular attention to 0:55 when Vince claims “we’ll love his nuts.”
You know you wanna see it! Click here.

Music of the Day
Regina Spektor – Oedipus

I feel sick, I feel nervous/I know just what I did to deserve this/Though I know it’s not a dream

2009-01-02T21:50:00.003-06:00

Welcome to the 2009 season of baseball
Unfortunately, there isn’t a lot happening right now but just you wait…just you wait.

Circle Me Bert waiting for the Hall to Call

At least someone is blogging: Kevin Slowey’s MLB Blog is back in action

New Baseball Resolutions
* New Lipgloss for a new season – this year’s color will be Liptini’s Vodka– how apropos don’t you think? (Courtesy of Elle)
* Mock unto others as others would mock unto you
* New Twins t-shirt
* I may cry during the Metrodome Video Montages. (The Metrodome is the only stadium I remember.)
* I will see at least one out of state game
* I will create tags for my entries so that I don’t keep bitching about it. It’s my own damn fault!

Non-baseball but no less important

2009, you are already a sassy bitch!
I celebrated New Year’s four times on December 31.
First time I shouted out Happy New Year was at 10:00 a.m. and I was in my cubicle. I was texting with Val from the Philippines and it was midnight her time. So, V, you were my first New Year’s celebration.
Second time was 9:00 p.m. when I celebrated with Lucy. I mean, shit, she’s 3 years old. You think the girl could make it until midnight. Whatever, quitters never win! :P
Third time was at 11:00 p.m. when Anderson Cooper wished me a happy new year from a stage “high above the streets” of NYC. Mmm…I’ll take an Andy Cooper New Year shout-out any day. Yes, the Silver Fox makes my heart go pitter-patter.
Finally, I waited until it was my own damn timezone and Stacy and I half-heartedly whooped HAPPY NEW YEAR! (We didn’t want to wake Lucy and well, let’s be honest…after the third time it lost a little of the glamour.)

Here are my thoughts whilst flipping between all the channels counting down:
* Ryan Seacrest is still dreamy even in a puffy jacket
* Every time Kelly Pickler spoke my left eye twitched
* Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin are probably the coolest people to hang out with on New Year’s
* Scott Weiland owns my soul. I may have even yelled to him (“him” being a pre-recorded concert on my tv) “See you in a month!” (‘cause, I will be.)
* David fucking Cook ended my New Year’s right. I enjoy how all my co-workers send me messages on Facebook saying “Ooooh, your Idol is on my tv.” Yeah, I got it. You don’t think I am prepared for this? Didn’t * you get my inner-office memo?
* The David Puddy hockey episode was on Seinfeld last night. Suhweet.

I Twittered my evening of TV mockery in case you are interested

(which I don’t blame you if you aren’t.) Here are some of the highlights:

* 9:45 p.m. Uh oh. I know way more Lionel Richie songs that I care to admit.
* 10:08 p.m. Anderson Cooper just asked Kathy Griffin if she can stop saying “pap smears”. Life is good!
* 10:23 p.m. The correspondent from New Orleans (on CNN – Andy Cooper) is going to get his ass kicked by the guys behind him. Not funny, kinda funny.
* 10:32 Ah, the drunk texts are coming in! I like being the homebase. Please remember that what you text me is for public consumption. Mmmwhwhahaha
* 10:47 p.m. Lady Gaga’s Ta-Ta’s are going to fall out of her dress whilst she is singing on Andy Cooper’s CNN show.

Vegan Joe has thrown the first punch

If any of you are friends with me on Facebook you may have noticed I was recently tagged in a photo by Vegan Joe. THIS PHOTO!

Please realize I was tagged as the person/evil warlock person circled in red. Vegan Joe of course is the hero in yellow. I responded to his tag with:
OMG! I can’t believe you tagged me as the guy dying! You KNOW how I feel about natural bodies of water!

So Joe, it is GAME ON!

Randomly Random
Come on! How can my first blog of the New Year not include a picture of David Cook? To those who are rolling your eyes (and I can name 10 of you right now) SHUT IT! I got a funny story about this. So, the guy in the background (about half of you were like “What guy? All I see if freaking David Cook”) is a Target Center Security Staff Employee. I can’t remember his name. He told me and I did an “Oh, yeah, that’s great, what’s that shiny thing over there?” sort of half-ass pay attention move. Anyways, he spent most of the time on his cell phone arguing with his Baby’s Mama about how they both cheated so that should cancel out everything. In fact, at one point he said “You cheated with my friend and that is worse than me cheating with a random girl.” You know, that argument probably wouldn’t hold up in court.

So, here is Cheaty McCheatertons and David Cook in Minneapolis (not my photo but still a good photo.)

Music of the Day
Who’s it going to be? Huh? Can you feel it? Can you guess?
Drumroll, please…

David Cook – Bar-Ba-Sol
I KNOW! I am sorry! For christs sake get off my freaking back already! I can’t NOT post this song! This song is the one that all you non-David Cook fans like (*cough*Eric*cough*)

So I won’t hesitate no more, no more/It cannot wait, I’m sure/There’s no need to complicate, out time is short

2008-12-30T12:11:00.000-06:00

Um…
Yeah, I searched and searched for something new and fresh for the baseball part of my baseball blog. I am just here cap in hand. I thought I would try to keep this place a little active and amuse those who enjoy me being an uber-dork with my non-baseball shit. So…enjoy it while you can. Once baseball is back on then we will have a new focus.

Non-baseball but no less important

Overheard
At Borders in Coon Rapids
Me: Oh hey, I know this song! (singing along to the music playing in the store)
Elle: Who is it?
Me: (thinking) Um…oh shit, it’s David Archuleta. Damn it.
Elle: (chuckles)
Me: Damn it! Now I freaking outed myself at Borders by singing along to David fucking Archuleta!

A bit later I had to solidify my coolness by heavily mocking the Jonas Bros display.
(In case you’re interested…the song was “Desperate.”)

In our livingroom
Stacy (who I thought was on the phone): It’s too late, she must be drunk.
Me (interrupting her conversation): What? Why would you say that?
Stacy: What are you talking about?
Me: Oh, I thought you were on the phone talking about me.
Stacy: Jenny, it’s not always about you when I talk about drunk people.

In line at an Asian take-out place
Customer: I don’t like dark meat, don’t give me any dark meat.
My friend: Hahaha…that’s a “That’s what she said moment” if I ever heard one.
Me: Then you should “That’s what she said-ed” it. Don’t leave it hanging.
Friend: It’s too late now.
Me: True that.
Customer: I told you I don’t like the dark meat.
Me: (barely contains snort of laughter)
Friend: THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!
Me: Shhh…fuck, I don’t think they heard you in Canada.

On Family Guy last night
Lois Griffin: Daddy, we don’t want any special treatment. We’re here as a family and we’re gonna live as a family.
Stewie: Are you serious? We come to a mansion and you want to live with the help? Ugh, it’s like going to a strip club on a Tuesday afternoon.
[cutaway to Stewie sitting by the stage at a strip club]
Stewie: Is there anyone here who hasn’t had a C-section?

The Big New Year’s Eve Question
Who are you going to watch while counting down? Last year I loved seeing Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin (I hearts those two so much) but this year they may have a little competition. Fox station will have David Cook, Lynyrd Skynyrd AND Scott Weiland performing in Las Vegas. How can I not watch? How. Can. I. Not. Scott Weiland (Rock God) + David Cook = FANfuckingTASTIC!

Why…
Is Scott Weiland so hot? Seriously, maybe it is the combination of his being a musical genius along with the fact he is kinda smoking. I will be doing an album review later this week…so just you wait! Just. You. Wait. (Most of you are joyous in the fact it is a non-American Idol album I am reviewing.)
http://pics.livejournal.com/park_ave_pirate/pic/0010zctw/s320x240

Does Will Ferrell playing the Cow Bell guy so fucking hilarious? I think a clip of him playing Cow Bell could be used as therapy. I could put it on my iPod and play it during a particularly bad meeting. Who can stay mad when there’s Cow Bell? Who? (An asshole, that’s who.)

Music of the Day – Lucy’s a Rockstar
Again, when Lucy becomes a certified Rock Star she will owe it all to me. Here she is singing along with Jason Mraz on his “I’m Yours” song. This video was taken yesterday morning whilst we enjoyed our cups of coffee and an impromptu show. Check it out…she really reaches those high-flat notes!

Lucy – I’m Yours (Jason Mraz cover)